"I need to be able to access the cash in this account. So can you help me do that?"
"Yes, sir, of course. Have a seat"
"As far as I understand, I need to make this a joint account or activate internet banking and do a funds transfer"
"Sir, this account is with the Indiranagar branch."
"Yeah, but the customer service guy on the phone said I could do this at the nearest branch"
"Yes, of course, sir. Let me key in the details. Hmm. Sir, this is not a joint account"
"Yes, I want to make it a joint account"
"Ok. I think the best solution is for you to open a new joint account with this branch"
Oh, I see what she's doing. Wasn't it Polya who said 'solve a completely unrelated problem'?
"But I have an account already"
"Then you close that account"
"So you can't make that account a joint account?"
"No, sir, don't do that, sir. You shouldn't"
Her earnestness would have been more appropriate if she were telling me not to drink too much.
"Why not?"
"Because in the case of dividend transactions and taxation and (some other courses I was taught in my banker exam coaching classes) blah blah and hence it will be much better for you to open a new joint account here"
I don't push her but I'm pretty sure I can get her to confess that she had a monthly target to meet in new joint accounts.
"Then help me activate internet banking"
"Sir, surely sir. Can you fill out this form please? I need passport size photo and PAN card"
I go out and get them. And then go back again and get PAN card - original.
"So this is it? Are you sure? I'll get a password by post and I can transact online?"
Who am I kidding? I guess a little optimism creeps into all of us every now and then.
www.lowquality banking. com -> login -> enter your password -> change your password -> a one time password has been sent to your mobile.
Drat! That mobile's no longer functional. Back to the branch to change registered mobile phone number.
Cut to three days later. I happily enter the one time password and enter the world of internet banking. I don't marvel at this for too long though. 'To transfer funds, you need to download and fill 'third party transaction form' and submit at the nearest branch along with your horoscope, ration card, favourite books and hobbies.'
Maybe if I give in and open a new account for now, the lady at the branch will get around to solving my problem too eventually.
"Yes, sir, of course. Have a seat"
"As far as I understand, I need to make this a joint account or activate internet banking and do a funds transfer"
"Sir, this account is with the Indiranagar branch."
"Yeah, but the customer service guy on the phone said I could do this at the nearest branch"
"Yes, of course, sir. Let me key in the details. Hmm. Sir, this is not a joint account"
"Yes, I want to make it a joint account"
"Ok. I think the best solution is for you to open a new joint account with this branch"
Oh, I see what she's doing. Wasn't it Polya who said 'solve a completely unrelated problem'?
"But I have an account already"
"Then you close that account"
"So you can't make that account a joint account?"
"No, sir, don't do that, sir. You shouldn't"
Her earnestness would have been more appropriate if she were telling me not to drink too much.
"Why not?"
"Because in the case of dividend transactions and taxation and (some other courses I was taught in my banker exam coaching classes) blah blah and hence it will be much better for you to open a new joint account here"
I don't push her but I'm pretty sure I can get her to confess that she had a monthly target to meet in new joint accounts.
"Then help me activate internet banking"
"Sir, surely sir. Can you fill out this form please? I need passport size photo and PAN card"
I go out and get them. And then go back again and get PAN card - original.
"So this is it? Are you sure? I'll get a password by post and I can transact online?"
Who am I kidding? I guess a little optimism creeps into all of us every now and then.
www.lowquality banking. com -> login -> enter your password -> change your password -> a one time password has been sent to your mobile.
Drat! That mobile's no longer functional. Back to the branch to change registered mobile phone number.
Cut to three days later. I happily enter the one time password and enter the world of internet banking. I don't marvel at this for too long though. 'To transfer funds, you need to download and fill 'third party transaction form' and submit at the nearest branch along with your horoscope, ration card, favourite books and hobbies.'
Maybe if I give in and open a new account for now, the lady at the branch will get around to solving my problem too eventually.
