20th century thamizh poetry and its influence on popular culture

submitted in partial fulfilment of doctorate in superstardom...

Adhandaa idhaandaa Arunaachalam naanthaandaa
That only, this only, Arunaachalam me only
Annai thamizh naattula naa anaivarukkum sondhandaa...
In mother Tamil Nadu I am belonging to everyone
Aandavan nadathiduvaandaa daa daa arunaachalam nadandhiduvaandaa
God will strategise gise gise, Arunachalam will implement ment ment
Naan uppu poatta aala marappadhilladaa
I don't forget man putting salt da

Aanaa thappu senja aala viduvadhilladaa (Adhaandaa)

But I don’t leave man making mistake da (That only)

White noise

"This reminds me of the time I used to work in Sion. There was this one staff officer who used to...I mean we have to be fair to him and all that because we don't know what he was going through but still a person has to, you know...take boss for example....I mean it's not always true but all I'm trying to say is that it is possible to be wrong. This guy I was talking about used to work a couple of offices away from me. Strictly speaking they were not offices, maybe some sort of cubicles. You've seen the ones at XYZ right? Maybe 2 metres wide, or 3. Something like that..."
Fade out. Fade in.
"...that is what he said, can you imagine? We were like oh my god. I don't know what happened to her."
Pause. I have to say something of a general nature here, I'm guessing.
"Yes. people, man, I tell you. All kinds", is my feeble attempt.
"Exactly. And not that I was pissed off or anything. I mean it is ok with me. But I'm like that"
Trrring. Phew.
"Hello. We are calling from StanC. We would like to offer you a free credit card"
Pesky call center credit-card salesman versus colleague given to random detailed anecdotes. Credit card pest gets disconnected. Back to colleague.
"As I was saying...What's that on your nose by the way, a boil? These things can spread to your brain. This triangular region is a little critical. So where was I? Forget that. What amazes me is that this chap...I mean how is it possible to be like that...My uncle once said that it is possible to be, you know, the uncle who lives in Chembur. Have I told you about him? He lives in Diamond Garden, you've seen that place where they, you know...You have to take left there and go straight about a few metres. Ok, I may be exaggerating when I say a few metres, maybe a kilometre. There is this old tree there that's I'm sure a thousand years old...hahaha...so it's about a kilometre, maximum a kilometre and a half. You can take an auto if you want to but I think, I mean purely personal opinion, you may differ. I mean like you said people are of different types. Me and my father for example. We can walk, I mean like not walk walk but more of a stroll or something..."
Fade out. Fade in with no recollection of how much time has passed in between.
"...and I had no clue what to do but that's another story. So what were we talking about before the digression?"
No frikkin' clue. What I would like to talk about, however, is the faulty wiring in your head that allows your mouth to emanate unprocessed sounds continuously.
"We were talking about some people, how they can be, you know...", I blurt.
"Exactly. I mean don't take this as bitching but if you are like that despite people telling you then I'm very sorry, boss I'm not the person for you. You understand what I'm saying? I mean I have to tell you despite all the negatives when I was working in Sion... I mean there wasn't even a process, can you believe that?... I'm saying despite all that, the truth is that it is still like the one place where despite all the negatives, a person, I mean these are not strictly negatives mind you, but you tell me how long can a person go on with something like this. My uncle used to say, the Chembur guy I told you about. Have I told you about him?"
I know enough about Chembur uncle now to go mug him at night and surrender at the Chembur police station.
"Yes. Diamond Garden". Am I really that good at pretend-listening?
"Yes. Like i was saying..."
Fade out. Fade in.
"..it's something like a dark greyish colour. I mean you can call it black but it's not pitch black. I don't know the technical term for it but it kind of looks like a ...hmm, I don't know but I think..."
Fade out. In.
"...that is not the point, right? Seriously the environment is such that even if one has to, I mean"
Out. In.
"You are rather quiet today, what happened?"
Trring.
"I is Tushar Sir calling respected yourself from StanC"
"Yeah hi! You got disconnected right?" I have never been this cheery to a spam-caller before.
"Sir Yes Credit card for you sir. You have been selected for this new offer sir, free credit card."
"Hmm. Interesting. Can you let me have some more detail?"
"Ma'am, of course yes, sir. Card is membership fee annual is exemption..."
Fade out.

Delegation

"That's all you need to do. Put these small documents together and make a big document. No analysis. No nothing. As simple as that. I will take it from there"
"Cool. Great. So I think we should sit on it sometime tomorrow..."
Ho Hum. here we go.
"...and then blah and then bluh and then blah. What do you think?"
Much as I love your way of doing it, i.e., by not doing it, I'm going to stick to the original idea.
"You put those together first no? We can discuss tomorrow when we have one document that's readable"
"You are not getting my point". Comes and sits and points at random objects on my laptop monitor. "...blah and bluh and so we need to discuss"
"I don't think putting these together is a two-man job. Are you doing something else right now or later today?"
Always ask questions you know the answer to.
"No. Ok chalo, I will take a shot at it"
Phew.
"Mr. Chatterjee? Hi. I was wondering if you could do this as well as part of your presentation..."
Can you hate a task so much that you will die avoiding it? Sometimes the greatest distance in the world is between a person and his work. I give up.
"Don't bother Mr. Chatterjee, man. I will do it myself"
"Cool. Just try putting these documents together to make one big document, plain and simple. No analysis or anything. We can discuss tomorrow when you are ready"

Siv Seina buys suicide wing from Al Qaida for 2 bn$

In a landmark transaction that marks the coming of age of Indian M&A, Mumbai's very own Siv Seina (SS) bought 100% of the equity of Al Qaida's suicide wing for 2 bn$. Trade analysts have called the deal 'overpriced' and 'suicidal' but the management is gung-ho as usual about the new merged entity.

The genesis of the deal was some innovative thinking from the senior management of SS when responding to a war cry from the party supremo, who had urged the party to start a suicide wing to counter the threat that Islamic terrorist groups posed. The management realised that starting this wing from scratch would take a lot of time and effort whereas a ready-made solution existed - growth through the inorganic route.
Meanwhile Al Qaida was looking to hive off its suicide wing which had been bleeding for many years. This resulted in the perfect marriage, something that no one would have seen coming even a few weeks back, given the history of differences between the two parties. 'This proves that terrorist groups everywhere are fundamentally the same' said Abu Kazi, 'The fund inflow will be used to digitally remaster some Osama tapes that are in production including a romantic comedy and an out-and-out action thriller'
'With technology and manpower transfer from the suicide wing, we should be able to do at least a couple of bombings every month', SS Chairman Fackeray said non-committally,' We are retaining Al Qaida's top management, so there may be issues on which communities to target. The problem is the census survey is also outdated, so there is really no scientific way of doing this, apart from taking an SMS vote and so on. So we are keeping our staff entertained by making them watch Sarkar Raj-3 multiple times so as to simulate suicide and near-death conditions.'
The state government has taken a serious view of this episode and is scrutinising the deal documents for evidence of tax violations.

Love gooru answers!

The following is a transcript of a live chat session with our in-house relationship expert affectionately called the 'love gooru'
amresh : hi hi m 10 yr old boy in love with 12 yr old girl in school. pl help
L : Are you nuts? Go do your frikkin' homework, weird lil' brat...
srini : hi am hindu girl in love with muslim boy, his parents don't like the marriage. i feel like ending my life in world. pl help
L : Someone end my life in world
rocky : hi am muslim boy loving hindu girl and my parents are objecting
L : Stop right there. Refer answer above. Jeez. You two in the same chat room? What are you, 10?
amresh : no, i'm 10. in love with 12 yr old
L : You're still here, you spoilt little pain in the a**. Wait till i trace your ip
ridhi : hi i have life and death problem. i'm 12 yr old in love with
L : What is this- couples' chat day? Get out of my chat room, ye all
greg : hey man how you doing? ;)
L : Yeah dude, hit on me. Let's generate relationships. There don't seem to be any otherwise.
shamuddin : delhi daredevilry will win ipl
satya : go to pakstan where you belong
shamuddin : u go to uzbekistan then, the weathers really good this time of the year
satya : really? i was thinkin turkey, good suggestn sham, c ya
L : Really great catchin' up with you both. Anyone here who wants advice? Helloooo?
raj : hi, one of m close friends said she wants to marry me, now i'm worried that she might be hinting that she might want more than just a good frandship.
L : No absolutely not, please don't lose a good frand by mistaking her intent. Is she hot?
rehana : i fot wid a boy and he marrd some1 n nw i like hm, i cnt 4gt hm n thnk f hm alwys. wt shd i do
L : I'm astonished that I was actually able to decipher your sms-like crap.
loverboy12: there's this girl i really really like. i asked her out many times and she kept saying no. then one day i sms'ed her and she said no on sms. since then i keep calling her and messaging her thousands of times a day but she never responds. should i just give up, please advise?
L : Keep trying. Persistence, boy, persistence. Women love that. Another good idea is anticipatory bail for stalking. That's all we have time for, folks. Next round coming up in a week, same time. Hope to run into more interesting people than this bunch! bye!

Mukesh Ambni buys BMC for 8 gazillion $

Reliable Industries, led by the world's richest man and business tycoon Mukesh Ambni acquired 100% of the equity of Bombay Municipal Corporation yesterday in a bold move that left the city pretty much indifferent as usual. Clandestine high-level negotiations have been going on for the past few months, revealed a company source. Both sides had hard-nosed negotiators who fought for every inch, delaying the closing by many months. Sources say Mukesh was very keen on VT, where he'd planned a second bungalow at a cost of 23 bazookillion dollars and the Oval for his son to play throwball with Shaun Pollock. BMC wished to retain management control over these and had to throw in Pedder Road and Borivilli Fast in return. The younger of the Ambni brothers, Sanil, not to be left behind, has put in a bid to buy Thane creek, which he plans to convert into a luxurious swimming pool at the cost of an arm and a leg.
Sena activists disrupted the announcement and restated their demand to find-replace B with M in all known nouns in the world. ''B' is a legacy left by the British. Are we not independent yet?' fumed an angry Mal Thackery. 'Mera Mharat mahaan. Mera Mummai mahaan' shouted the demonstrators, most of whom melonged to the Majrang Dal's Mhandup mranch.

Srisanth weeps uncontrollably again : Jumps to #2 in Times' 'world's most influential' list

'He hit me for six 4s in one over' gushed a weeping Srisanth in the post match conference as Jaipur Jokers crushed Chennai Chums in the final of the Indian Premiere League yesterday, 'I haven't been smashed so badly even in underarm cricket'.
Ace paceman Srisanth's bowling took a beating in the final and he returned figures of 4 overs for 80 and no wicket. He had a good reason to cry this time and cry he did- he was apparently inconsolable for hours after the match.
While he had little to cheer about in the match, what would have come as a pleasant surprise to him and his family was the Time's 'most influential people' list that's updated every few hours on the Times' website. The widespread media coverage of Srisanth's teary-eyed interview seems to have made him a familiar ugly sighting in every corner of the globe. Little wonder that he jumped from #132475 to #2 in a matter of 3 hours yesterday night on the list. The other Indians in the list are PV.Narasimha Rao (#23), Mandira Bedi (#45), Inspector Karamchand (#57), arbitrary mahout-cum-snake-charmer man (#73) and the Nano (#103). Srisanth's climb in the rankings is definitely an indicator of India finding its rightful place in the world, readers feel.