Conversation spirals

11.00 AM
A : If you have a written manual, please send it to me. It would be useful.
B : I don't have it with me but a couple of people in my team might have it. I'll ask them.

This meeting could have ended here, in exactly 10 seconds. But A has taken a cab all the way to B's office for a face-to-face meeting. This ten-seconder could have even happened on the phone. Also, A is being paid a salary which is something that always guilts people into doing unnecessary and unproductive work. Like continuing this conversation with B.

A (decides to explain context) : So our firm is in a situation where we ...blah blah (2 minutes)...so it would really help us if we had a manual.
B (also warming up): As I said I don't have it with me right now. But I think a couple of people might have it in my team because I remember we were in a similar situation last year and ...blah blah...(2 minutes). So I'll ask them and if they have it, I will send you a copy.

5 minutes. Still not paisa vasool for the cab ride

A (trying a new tack as if that would make a manual magically appear) : It need not be a "manual" manual. Any document that outlines the process would suffice. Just a simple check-list, you know. Because, what are we trying to do here, after all...blah blah (5 minutes)
B (has had enough) : Hmm. Yes, I get that. I'll look for any document that might be useful in this context, alright?
A (fearing the meeting might end soon, raises important sounding but irrelevant issues) : If there's a problem with confidentiality, don't worry, we will sign a non-disclosure. It's purely for internal...
B: No no. That's not the problem
A: If we need to pay a token amount, you know or give you due credit for using your intellectual property, let me know
B: No, no. Haha. That won't be necessary.
A: It's important to clear these issues upfront. In my experience, if you do these things upfront in a very clear way, there's no problem later, you see?
B : Yes, absolutely. You are right. Ok, so let me ask my team if they have something for you
A : Yes, please do. I'll be grateful.
B : And I have your email id, so I'll forward you a copy.
A : Yes, you can check with your team and if they have a manual or any document that, you know, has an outline of the process, you can send it to me.
B : Yes, it need not be a manual strictly. I got that.
A : Yes, just a simple doc with a check list will also do. Of course, if it's a manual, then all the better. But I'm just saying it's not strictly necessary. Because, what's the purpose of it after all? blah blah...(5 minutes). So it's important that the purpose is served.
B : Yes, true. So I'll look for it and let you know.
A : Yes, please do. Thanks a lot for your time. Do let me know, once you've checked with your team, if you find something that we can use. And then you can forward it to me.
B : Yes. I'll do that. Ok, thanks for dropping by. I'll be in touch.
A : By when can I expect a call or email?
B (a little irritated now): Very soon. Like I said, I just have to check with a couple of people. If they have it, then I can just forward it to you very quickly. If they don't then, well...they don't
A : Yes, I understand. Ok, fine. So you check and let me know as soon as possible, if your colleagues have something I can use. You can email me a copy.
B : Yes, will do.
A : Thanks, I really appreciate it. Like I said, we just need it for this new thing we are starting...blah...

And some more spirals later...

11.30 AM
A (almost convinced now that his trip was worth it and feeling a warm glow about a solid meeting, but also wanting to show his superior critical thinking powers one last time) : Also remember to let me know if your policies come in the way, in terms of IPR and confidentiality and all that, alright?
B : Yes, that's not a problem.
A : It's important to be sure, right upfront, in my experience.
B(gets up to force the meeting to a close) : Yes, absolutely. Ok, Mr. A, nice to have met you. I'll be in touch once I talk to my team.
A(gets up) : Thanks for your time. See you. Let me know if you find anything. You could just email it to me.
-----
11.40 AM
After A's exit,
B : Hey C, did we document that process XYZ somewhere? Is there a manual sort of thing?
C : No
B : Ok
11.41 AM
on email : "Dear A, I checked with my team and we don't seem to have any document that might be of help to you. Sorry! - B"

SC disallows 'active euthanasia' of India's most irritating criminals

In response to a petition filed by an undisclosed social activist, the Supreme Court today ruled that active 'euthanasia' of some of India's worst people cannot be allowed because 'we aren't that sort of country'. The activist's plea was that he be allowed to kill some people who 'riled him up to no end' and didn't deserve to live. He said only rapists, scamsters and terrorists seemed to be in the news, smiling at the cameras and enjoying all the attention and needed to be taught a lesson. In order to not put undue pressure on India's medical services, he said the SC could have some qualifying criteria such as 'scams above 10000 cr only' so that the small timers could be weeded out. His argument that these people were "mentally sick" and needed to be released did not find favour with the judges. "The best I can do is this, if you can convince these messed up folk to somehow commit suicide, I will turn a blind eye' the judge said.

Boundaries of Louv

shehar se lekar gaon tak, dhoop se lekar chaon tak
(from city to village, from sun to shade)
sar se lekar paon tak, dil ki sabhi wafaon tak
(head to toe, till the heart's loyalties*)
mujhe pyar karo...oh mujhe pyar karo
(louv me, oh louv me)

paas se lekar door tak, door se lekar paas tak
(from near to far, from far to near)
in hoton ke pyaas tak, dharti se akaash tak
(till the thirst of the lips, from earth to sky*)
mujhe pyar karo oh mujhe pyar karo

saagar ke is aar se, saagar ke us paar tak
(from this side of the ocean, to that side of the ocean)
nazron ki deewar tak, pyar se lekar pyar tak
(till the eyes' walls, from louv to louv*)
mujhe pyar karo oh mujhe pyar karo

subah se lekar shaam tak, shaam se lekar raat tak
(roughly 18 hours)
raat se lekar subah tak, subah se phir shaam tak
(another 18)
mujhe pyar karo oh mujhe pyar karo...
(i.e. louv me for 36 hours. Off you go, tomorrow at 6 pm)


* don't ask me

'K..k..khan's speech' India's entry to the Oscars

The Hindi remake of the multiple academy-award winning King's Speech starring 'King' Khan himself, has been selected as India's official entry to the Oscars for the year 2011. 'K..k..khan's speech' was released amid much fanfare last Diwali and bombed at the box office, which only increased its chances of being selected for the Oscars. The adaptation, starring Sahrukh Khan as a struggling actor who overcompensates for his poor diction with overdone expressions, and former cricketer Najvot Siddu as his voice coach, won several NRI hearts all over England. To make the adaptation 'real' and spontaneous, it is rumored that Siddu wrote his own lines which are in turn, old proverbs with the nouns mixed up with animal and bird names. "Bad films don't always win oscars. Crows don't always pee into the wind' he said, prophetically, when pressed for a reaction.

Applying the timeless principles of achieving excellence at work to achieve excellence at work

Foreword
This book is a must-read. The third book in the 'applying stuff' trilogy, after 'Applying the art of war in non-war items' and 'Applying Buddhist principles at work without psyching out the others', this book takes a bold step forward from where the author left off in Book-two. Every young manager should buy a copy. Right now. I'm not kidding.
Excellence at work has always been an archaic body of knowledge, not accessible to the casual reader. The author not only distills the main principles from this body of esoteric knowledge but also teaches us, in a funny and definitely readable way, through illustrated stories, how to use those principles at our workplace to achieve excellence.
For instance, Rule #1 : Do work. Deceptively straightforward, but once you finish this section, well, move on to the next. Rule #2 : Don't beat up people. Elucidated through simple but delightful horror stories of corporate crime, this section is a definite page-stopper. Rule #3 : Take a break but let that not be the only thing you do. This self-explanatory portion still runs into several pages. There are more principles that follow, covering all aspects of work and I'm very excited about getting to those sections later this week! Happy reading!

The road less travelled by, there's a good reason why

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

And so I thought I'd be a star
Till I saw some jerks on a truck
They'd taken the easier route by far
and made it to the same place on solid tar
And left me feeling like a stupidass schmuck

I was like 'Hey! this breaks my heart;
but the road less travelled can't suck in art
its suckiness in real life regardless
let's inspire people to make a mess'
And I decided to delete the last part

Case

Ramaswami looked at the crumpled piece of paper in front of him and sighed. He got up from his ergonomic chair and walked to the french window of the plush Director's cabin and looked out. Then he came back and sat on his chair and looked at the paper in front of him and sighed. He had come a long way from joining Indian Management Institute as a Deputy Director the previous year to becoming Director this year. It had been a troubled journey.

When he took over the top job at the Institute earlier this year, his predecessor had handed him this piece of paper. The paper was cryptically titled 'Exhibit 1' and had the following table.

Exhibit 1
Harvard : Case methodology
Stanford : Don't know
IMI : Should be same as Harvard?

He remembered spending many days trying to make sense of this table and giving up. He then had nothing to do for a few months and decided to hire a consultant and entrusted the task of generating 'Exhibit 2' to them. The consultants decided to 'listen to the market' and came up with some pithy findings summarised as 'Exhibit 2', just like Ramaswami wanted.

Exhibit 2
Number of student respondents surveyed : 200
Preferred pedagogy
Case study method : 0
Orthodox (lecture) : 0
Replacement of faculty with better faculty : 100
Refund of fees : 100

This was a disturbing trend indeed and to recover from this shock, Ramaswami decided to download some data from the internet which he playfully compiled as Exhibit 3.

Exhibit 3
Food production in Zambia last Thursday: 200 metric tonnes
Ratio of China's GDP and Distance from the earth to the moon : 20

As he was staring into open space, some realistic questions occurred to Ramaswami.
Should I continue as Director? (5 marks)
Should this Institute continue with the case-study method? (15 marks)
How many exhibits on an average should a case have? (5 marks)

He was clueless but he was sure of one thing, the answers to these would occur to him by 4 pm the next day.