The highest court in the Indian judiciary today upheld a PIL against both sides of the ongoing reservation debate - the PIL alleged that the arguements for and against reservation were getting increasingly repetitive and accuses both parties of being mind-numbingly boring as a ploy to get a quick judgement.
'Exclude creamy layer. Use economic and not caste criteria. Yawn', the two-page judgement reads. The judgement also slams the pro-reservation wing for excessive usage of the phrase 'years of oppression'. 'What years of oppression, useless fellow!' thundered justice KGB in the court when the lawyer used the phrase,'Wish I could subject you to some years of oppression'
The outcome of this long-drawn battle was a hike in the quota for backward classes to 40%. 'I'm retiring in six months, so I took an arbitrary decision and adjourned till November because people need time to figure out how I arrived at the number 40' said KGB with an enigmatic smile.
Forward classes meanwhile have taken this news badly and a radical group is now rumoured to have started a home-schooling movement. The rationale is that there are no seats in schools and colleges for kids from forward classes and hence they would have to be tutored at home till graduation/post graduation. Not to be left behind, the backward caste parties have reacted to this rumour by applying to the SC for a quota in home-tutoring as well. Parents can no longer help just their kids with homework and get away with it, it seems.
'Prima facie, I think the 40% would apply at homes as well because the judgement does not specify the instrument used to impart education. But I'm sure these lawyers will use their creativity and dig up some loopholes and talk about meritocracy beginning from the household etc' was KGB's unofficial view.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Happiness can't buy money : Warton Study
A study conducted by the economics department of Warton University has come up with some startling conclusions. The old adage 'happiness is money' has been disproved and how!
Researchers at the University, who carried out the study, found that inhabitants of happier countries are far poorer (economically) than grumpier, 'the-serious-types' nations.
In other words, the wider you smile, the poorer you are.
This finding contradicts years of wisdom that a higher sense of well-being translates into a higher GDP. This also explains how anomalies like Indya, Nepaul and Butan have always been off the charts on happiness but their cumulative per capita income never really added to much.
'The paradox arises from the fact that poorer people tend to feel happy in a simplistic way once their basic needs are met. And what's more, some of these lucky idiots take to drugs and alcohol which either make them happier immediately, or makes them give irrelevant responses to our questionnaire and screw up our results', a fuming Dr. Bernstein - one of the researchers who led the study, was quoted as saying.
Researchers at the University, who carried out the study, found that inhabitants of happier countries are far poorer (economically) than grumpier, 'the-serious-types' nations.
In other words, the wider you smile, the poorer you are.
This finding contradicts years of wisdom that a higher sense of well-being translates into a higher GDP. This also explains how anomalies like Indya, Nepaul and Butan have always been off the charts on happiness but their cumulative per capita income never really added to much.
'The paradox arises from the fact that poorer people tend to feel happy in a simplistic way once their basic needs are met. And what's more, some of these lucky idiots take to drugs and alcohol which either make them happier immediately, or makes them give irrelevant responses to our questionnaire and screw up our results', a fuming Dr. Bernstein - one of the researchers who led the study, was quoted as saying.
Friday, April 4, 2008
IIM-Q hikes fee to 3 cr : early birds to get 20% discount
IIM Qaziabad hiked its fee to 3 cr from 3 lakh last year, an undisclosed percentage increase. 'We are charging six times as much as Harvard, but you have to note that our faculty's far inferior', said Vijay Singh, the Chairman of the Governing Board.
'We will ensure that every minute a student spends on campus counts and the course is worth every penny the student shells out. A study amongst Q alumni revealed that their chief regret on campus was attending classes. So in the new paradigm, there will be fewer profs, fewer assignments, fewer textbooks and so on. We are also launching new specialisation streams - An MBA in deep-sea snorkeling, MBA in blog-surfing and an executive development program in solitaire are on the anvil right now', he revealed.
'The proceeds from student fees will be used to re-paint the entire campus. We might also get real professors this year and they won't come cheap. We did a study last year where we tried to gauge the students' expectation of faculty IQ-Scores and they unanimously voted in the above 100 category, which has put us in a quandary. I think the days of getting primary school dropouts to teach MBA courses are long gone' he said ruefully.
Undergrad students all over the country are still reeling at the shock that their last chance at 'two more years of doing nothing' is suddenly unaffordable. It appears that the 20% discount for the first 100 applicants will also do little to alleviate the situation.
'If we are spending that much, we might as well get a real degree na?' says Shaurabh, an MBA aspirant who has settled for copies of 'The 10-day MBA' and 'The one minute manager' as a cheaper substitute for the course.
'We will ensure that every minute a student spends on campus counts and the course is worth every penny the student shells out. A study amongst Q alumni revealed that their chief regret on campus was attending classes. So in the new paradigm, there will be fewer profs, fewer assignments, fewer textbooks and so on. We are also launching new specialisation streams - An MBA in deep-sea snorkeling, MBA in blog-surfing and an executive development program in solitaire are on the anvil right now', he revealed.
'The proceeds from student fees will be used to re-paint the entire campus. We might also get real professors this year and they won't come cheap. We did a study last year where we tried to gauge the students' expectation of faculty IQ-Scores and they unanimously voted in the above 100 category, which has put us in a quandary. I think the days of getting primary school dropouts to teach MBA courses are long gone' he said ruefully.
Undergrad students all over the country are still reeling at the shock that their last chance at 'two more years of doing nothing' is suddenly unaffordable. It appears that the 20% discount for the first 100 applicants will also do little to alleviate the situation.
'If we are spending that much, we might as well get a real degree na?' says Shaurabh, an MBA aspirant who has settled for copies of 'The 10-day MBA' and 'The one minute manager' as a cheaper substitute for the course.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Macrosoft buys 'older posts' from Mumbai blogger for 2 Bn$
Raj Mehta, a popular blogger, sold almost his entire blog to software giant Macrosoft for an undisclosed amount. Trade pundits put the transaction size to be around 2 billion USD.
www.randomlymumbleddeepthoughts.blogspot.com is the link where Raj blogs anonymously (until now). As per the agreement, the front page still belongs to Raj while MS owns all the archives i.e. what you get when you click 'older posts' at the bottom of the first page.
Raj is the second entrant to the billionaires' club this month after a venture capitalist picked up a stake in Sanjeev More's social network on March 3rd. Sanjeev, who is a self-proclaimed wastrel with about a 100 plus friends, sold his real life social network to Fundemall, an angel investor from Silicon Valley for a billion plus USD. 'If an online network is worth 15 billion, think of the value of my real life network', says Sanjeev - a veiled reference to Fiendster, a popular online social networking site. Ironically, his friends aren't too thrilled at the transaction and his network might be severely affected as a result. Fundemall is closely monitoring the situation.
Raj and Sanjeev are also planning to work together on their next idea - a web portal linking start up ideas to VC funds. 'We are specifically targeting what we think are bad startup ideas because these are sometimes the ones that need the most help with funding' says Sanjeev.
www.randomlymumbleddeepthoughts.blogspot.com is the link where Raj blogs anonymously (until now). As per the agreement, the front page still belongs to Raj while MS owns all the archives i.e. what you get when you click 'older posts' at the bottom of the first page.
Raj is the second entrant to the billionaires' club this month after a venture capitalist picked up a stake in Sanjeev More's social network on March 3rd. Sanjeev, who is a self-proclaimed wastrel with about a 100 plus friends, sold his real life social network to Fundemall, an angel investor from Silicon Valley for a billion plus USD. 'If an online network is worth 15 billion, think of the value of my real life network', says Sanjeev - a veiled reference to Fiendster, a popular online social networking site. Ironically, his friends aren't too thrilled at the transaction and his network might be severely affected as a result. Fundemall is closely monitoring the situation.
Raj and Sanjeev are also planning to work together on their next idea - a web portal linking start up ideas to VC funds. 'We are specifically targeting what we think are bad startup ideas because these are sometimes the ones that need the most help with funding' says Sanjeev.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Rahul Gandy kicks off 'Discovery of India' tour on Google Earth
Congress MLA Rahul Gandy today found Orissa on Google Earth leading to celebrations and firecrackers by re-energised party workers.
'This is so cool' Rahul drooled, 'I have connected to rural areas in Orissa and Bihar on Google Earth and downloaded some on to my desktop. The north eastern states will be a challenge. I have found only Burma so far' he said, in a candid low-IQ interview with Kal Thak.
President Sonya was seen heaving a sigh of relief. When Rahul had announced a tour of the Indian states, she had assumed this would be a real tour. In a press conference that had made Rahul cry, she had said 'He is so grounded. This tour will bankrupt the exchequer' she said, referring to the election funds collected by the party. She hadn't seen this low-cost alternative coming.
'I want to stay connected to the real India. But this new broadband that mommy's taken is so unreliable, I keep getting disconnected' wept Rahul.
Meanwhile, mobs were seen gathering in rural areas in Orissa to 'welcome' their hero and wave at him through the net. The hoardings and placards welcoming him are being scanned and sent to his email address as we speak, as they weren't visible on g-earth.
'I want to reform the party, especially the one we do Saturday nights. Who says we need to stop drinking at midnight (hic)?' he challenged, to much applause from party workers.
It seems like Rahul is certainly in the running to take over from his mommy at the helm
- Correspondent
'This is so cool' Rahul drooled, 'I have connected to rural areas in Orissa and Bihar on Google Earth and downloaded some on to my desktop. The north eastern states will be a challenge. I have found only Burma so far' he said, in a candid low-IQ interview with Kal Thak.
President Sonya was seen heaving a sigh of relief. When Rahul had announced a tour of the Indian states, she had assumed this would be a real tour. In a press conference that had made Rahul cry, she had said 'He is so grounded. This tour will bankrupt the exchequer' she said, referring to the election funds collected by the party. She hadn't seen this low-cost alternative coming.
'I want to stay connected to the real India. But this new broadband that mommy's taken is so unreliable, I keep getting disconnected' wept Rahul.
Meanwhile, mobs were seen gathering in rural areas in Orissa to 'welcome' their hero and wave at him through the net. The hoardings and placards welcoming him are being scanned and sent to his email address as we speak, as they weren't visible on g-earth.
'I want to reform the party, especially the one we do Saturday nights. Who says we need to stop drinking at midnight (hic)?' he challenged, to much applause from party workers.
It seems like Rahul is certainly in the running to take over from his mommy at the helm
- Correspondent
Monday, March 10, 2008
No problem with clothes - Sherly Chopraw
' I don't know what gave people the idea that I'm uncomfortable with wearing clothes on screen' Sherly fumes, ' I even wore a saree in Jab we slept'
'I'm ready to do anything the script demands. Or the director or the producer, for that matter. If heavy clothing is the way to go, I'm all for it. It's not as if I will be the first to wear clothes on screen. Even Sreedevi and Hemimalani have done it. At least I'm being open about it. My only requirement is that these shots of me in opaque clothes will have to be tastefully done'
Directors - are you listening? wink wink
-Subhas Ja for Mid-Night
'I'm ready to do anything the script demands. Or the director or the producer, for that matter. If heavy clothing is the way to go, I'm all for it. It's not as if I will be the first to wear clothes on screen. Even Sreedevi and Hemimalani have done it. At least I'm being open about it. My only requirement is that these shots of me in opaque clothes will have to be tastefully done'
Directors - are you listening? wink wink
-Subhas Ja for Mid-Night
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Vote budget regressive - Finance Minister
The Farmer Association of India (FAI) 's vote budget - 2008-09 was announced today at its annual general body meeting. This budget, to remind readers, is a broad indication of how the farmers are going to vote in the upcoming election. The salient features are as follows
Gainers :
Congress I : 2 crore votes allocated as opposed to 1.7 in 2007-08
Losers :
BJP : 3 lakh votes as opposed to 45 in 2007-08
Misra, the Finance Head of the FAI, quoted from the Bhagvad Gita, Koran and Bible liberally in his budget address- 'Tit for Tat - all the scriptures advise - and we are just following this mantra. We vote for those who help us in times of need'
The Union Finance Minister did not seem too happy with the meagre vote increase especially after announcing a bonanza for these farmers in his budget 2008-09 last month.
'I will have to say this vote budget is repressive and populist. Why the token allotment of votes to minority parties just to appease them? I'm hurt by this kind of lack of reciprocation'
Misra however, was unruffled. 'We had mentioned earlier also. We are unhappy with only past loans being waived. What about loans we need now and in the future? Who's going to pay those back?' he hollered, 'We told the Finance Minister personally about a pump set that needed repair in my house. Did he bother to do anything about it? These people remember us only during elections'
The Congress spokesperson was careful not to be too pleased ' We all know that the budget is just indicative. It does not trickle down to the common politican. Last year they promised 1.7 crore votes and then hardly anyone turned up because it was raining heavily on poll day. Also there is the corruption in between, where henchmen from other parties take a cut for allowing people to vote'
Overall, the attitude seems to be one of 'wait and watch'. The elections will have their own story to tell as always.
- Our special correspondent
Gainers :
Congress I : 2 crore votes allocated as opposed to 1.7 in 2007-08
Losers :
BJP : 3 lakh votes as opposed to 45 in 2007-08
Misra, the Finance Head of the FAI, quoted from the Bhagvad Gita, Koran and Bible liberally in his budget address- 'Tit for Tat - all the scriptures advise - and we are just following this mantra. We vote for those who help us in times of need'
The Union Finance Minister did not seem too happy with the meagre vote increase especially after announcing a bonanza for these farmers in his budget 2008-09 last month.
'I will have to say this vote budget is repressive and populist. Why the token allotment of votes to minority parties just to appease them? I'm hurt by this kind of lack of reciprocation'
Misra however, was unruffled. 'We had mentioned earlier also. We are unhappy with only past loans being waived. What about loans we need now and in the future? Who's going to pay those back?' he hollered, 'We told the Finance Minister personally about a pump set that needed repair in my house. Did he bother to do anything about it? These people remember us only during elections'
The Congress spokesperson was careful not to be too pleased ' We all know that the budget is just indicative. It does not trickle down to the common politican. Last year they promised 1.7 crore votes and then hardly anyone turned up because it was raining heavily on poll day. Also there is the corruption in between, where henchmen from other parties take a cut for allowing people to vote'
Overall, the attitude seems to be one of 'wait and watch'. The elections will have their own story to tell as always.
- Our special correspondent
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