Macrosoft buys 'older posts' from Mumbai blogger for 2 Bn$

Raj Mehta, a popular blogger, sold almost his entire blog to software giant Macrosoft for an undisclosed amount. Trade pundits put the transaction size to be around 2 billion USD.
www.randomlymumbleddeepthoughts.blogspot.com is the link where Raj blogs anonymously (until now). As per the agreement, the front page still belongs to Raj while MS owns all the archives i.e. what you get when you click 'older posts' at the bottom of the first page.
Raj is the second entrant to the billionaires' club this month after a venture capitalist picked up a stake in Sanjeev More's social network on March 3rd. Sanjeev, who is a self-proclaimed wastrel with about a 100 plus friends, sold his real life social network to Fundemall, an angel investor from Silicon Valley for a billion plus USD. 'If an online network is worth 15 billion, think of the value of my real life network', says Sanjeev - a veiled reference to Fiendster, a popular online social networking site. Ironically, his friends aren't too thrilled at the transaction and his network might be severely affected as a result. Fundemall is closely monitoring the situation.
Raj and Sanjeev are also planning to work together on their next idea - a web portal linking start up ideas to VC funds. 'We are specifically targeting what we think are bad startup ideas because these are sometimes the ones that need the most help with funding' says Sanjeev.

Rahul Gandy kicks off 'Discovery of India' tour on Google Earth

Congress MLA Rahul Gandy today found Orissa on Google Earth leading to celebrations and firecrackers by re-energised party workers.
'This is so cool' Rahul drooled, 'I have connected to rural areas in Orissa and Bihar on Google Earth and downloaded some on to my desktop. The north eastern states will be a challenge. I have found only Burma so far' he said, in a candid low-IQ interview with Kal Thak.
President Sonya was seen heaving a sigh of relief. When Rahul had announced a tour of the Indian states, she had assumed this would be a real tour. In a press conference that had made Rahul cry, she had said 'He is so grounded. This tour will bankrupt the exchequer' she said, referring to the election funds collected by the party. She hadn't seen this low-cost alternative coming.
'I want to stay connected to the real India. But this new broadband that mommy's taken is so unreliable, I keep getting disconnected' wept Rahul.
Meanwhile, mobs were seen gathering in rural areas in Orissa to 'welcome' their hero and wave at him through the net. The hoardings and placards welcoming him are being scanned and sent to his email address as we speak, as they weren't visible on g-earth.
'I want to reform the party, especially the one we do Saturday nights. Who says we need to stop drinking at midnight (hic)?' he challenged, to much applause from party workers.
It seems like Rahul is certainly in the running to take over from his mommy at the helm
- Correspondent

No problem with clothes - Sherly Chopraw

' I don't know what gave people the idea that I'm uncomfortable with wearing clothes on screen' Sherly fumes, ' I even wore a saree in Jab we slept'
'I'm ready to do anything the script demands. Or the director or the producer, for that matter. If heavy clothing is the way to go, I'm all for it. It's not as if I will be the first to wear clothes on screen. Even Sreedevi and Hemimalani have done it. At least I'm being open about it. My only requirement is that these shots of me in opaque clothes will have to be tastefully done'
Directors - are you listening? wink wink
-Subhas Ja for Mid-Night

Vote budget regressive - Finance Minister

The Farmer Association of India (FAI) 's vote budget - 2008-09 was announced today at its annual general body meeting. This budget, to remind readers, is a broad indication of how the farmers are going to vote in the upcoming election. The salient features are as follows
Gainers :
Congress I : 2 crore votes allocated as opposed to 1.7 in 2007-08
Losers :
BJP : 3 lakh votes as opposed to 45 in 2007-08
Misra, the Finance Head of the FAI, quoted from the Bhagvad Gita, Koran and Bible liberally in his budget address- 'Tit for Tat - all the scriptures advise - and we are just following this mantra. We vote for those who help us in times of need'
The Union Finance Minister did not seem too happy with the meagre vote increase especially after announcing a bonanza for these farmers in his budget 2008-09 last month.
'I will have to say this vote budget is repressive and populist. Why the token allotment of votes to minority parties just to appease them? I'm hurt by this kind of lack of reciprocation'
Misra however, was unruffled. 'We had mentioned earlier also. We are unhappy with only past loans being waived. What about loans we need now and in the future? Who's going to pay those back?' he hollered, 'We told the Finance Minister personally about a pump set that needed repair in my house. Did he bother to do anything about it? These people remember us only during elections'
The Congress spokesperson was careful not to be too pleased ' We all know that the budget is just indicative. It does not trickle down to the common politican. Last year they promised 1.7 crore votes and then hardly anyone turned up because it was raining heavily on poll day. Also there is the corruption in between, where henchmen from other parties take a cut for allowing people to vote'
Overall, the attitude seems to be one of 'wait and watch'. The elections will have their own story to tell as always.
- Our special correspondent

Over-descriptive author almost sued for wasting readers' time

When crime-writer Jeffrey Biggins woke up Sunday morning, he would have hardly expected to be sued. Sunday to him meant a day of relaxation, a day of lazing around by his indoor pool, which was a shiny blue, a not-so-much-of-a-contrast against the white-blue early morning sky. For Biggins, the day began like any other Sunday, and he woke up and looked down at his beak-like nose and whatever else he could see of his face. At 45, Biggins still could pass for a 43-year old and his jet black hair made it impossible for one to guess his age, unless you looked at the skin behind his ears or something. His deep green-grey eyes were quick to miss a trick and were embellished by his black bushy eyebrows. He was not what one could call handsome but he did have that unmistakable quality of non-handsomeness about him. Biggins let out a low whistle for no apparent reason.

Little did he know what news the mail would bring him that Sunday. He changed to a double breasted suit, from his white-yellow pajamas with blue stripes, which were black near the feet due to differential rates of washing by the new washing machine that he had purchased recently. The steel grey washing machine shone in the morning sun, a symbol of the sweeping changes in his life. Not bad for someone who did not have a washing machine before buying one, thought Biggins- a slap in the face of those who ridiculed new washing machine buyers. He smiled wryly at the thought

Biggins' mail took a different route that Sunday, via 24th street, cutting across to 15th, down two blocks, then a left and there it was, at Biggins' doorstep. Biggins shivered out of context, as the icy cold breeze did not actually blow into his bedroom through the tightly shut windows. These windows were a crimson red, in stark contrast to his skin colour which was a lighter shade. It was a symbol of an era gone by, of technology, weird architecture, tectonic and sociological changes, and intolerably bad music. Biggins smiled wryly for the second time in a couple of minutes.

He proceeded to open his fan mail; in particular, a letter that was written on a glistening white sheet of paper with startling orange borders. It was an unpleasant letter from a reader who threatened to sue him for 'never getting to the point and getting mixed up in verbose irrelevant descriptions' in all his novels. She claimed to have spent over 5 hours reading the first chapter of his latest offering 'Death on page 978' and wanted those hours refunded as soon as possible. Biggins grinned toothily, a luxury he allowed himself when his wryness dried up. He made a mental note to respond to this reader. This reader no doubt was a middle-aged woman with strong jaws, a sharp eagle-like nose, and green-black eyes, Biggins surmised with absolutely no basis. This woman would not be attractive in the conventional sense, but there would be that quality of unmistakableness about her, which would have drawn many men to her in her life. For a fleeting moment, Biggins could identify with what she had been through.

He made himself a cup of steaming hot coffee which scalded the crap out of his mouth. This Sunday was going to be different, he thought as he laughed noiselessly and looked at his beak-nose at a different angle this time, in the reflection on the coffeemaker's silver surface, which glistened in the late morning sun.

- Our special correspondent

Tehelga unearths fake celebrations scam

In the wake of the Indian team's victory in the under-13 Asian Kabaddi championships, a Tehelga probe might just have unearthed a diabolical media scandal. If they are to be believed, the boisterous pan-India celebrations that were telecast hour-on-hour by NCBC, Kal Thak and Soni-News last week had one thing in common - they never took place.
"I suspected something fishy because both the reporter and the crowd were talking in very general terms. 'Aapko kaisa lag raha hai' and 'khushiyan manaane ka samay hai' in reply. And I also thought I recognised a long-haired drunk chap from this year's Ganesh Chaturti celebrations telecast on the same channel" says Pal, co-editor of Tehelga.
This suspicion prompted Pal to put in place a team to analyse various news videos of boisterous celebrations and 'people taking to the streets' across channels. The team tabled a report in three days with explosive findings
- The top three news channels have been using the same scenes of celebration for the last 6 years. Kal thak has used one video a record 28 times, for Ganesh Chaturthi 03-08, Diwali 04-08, 15 cricket victories including the 20-20 world cup, the Om Shanti Om silver jubilee function and Mayawata's victory in the 2007 assembly elections.
- The said video was shot with junior artistes in Goregaon Film City at a cost of 3 lakhs in 2002.
- Aforementioned long haired drunk was caught in Komal Bar and admitted to accepting a payment of Rs 10 every time his drunken dance was telecast by Kal Thak. He has made a tax-free Rs 100 in the last year alone.
This blog got in touch with a senior executive of one of these channels and he had this to say, strictly off the record : 'We can't be running around covering various jobless people shouting and celebrating. We did a study in 1999 which found that drunken revelries were 98% similar irrespective of the occasion the drunks were celebrating. Let's say we do the real thing - get our city correspondent to chase down these celebrating idiots everytime something happens. Do you know how much it would cost us? When Sunita William's son passed 3rd grade for instance, Bombay went absolutely nuts in joy. It's not safe for us to go around interviewing mad crowds, leave alone the cost. So we make do with what we have. How does it make a difference?'
This begs the question to be asked - if India in fact does not care, would you still like to see reruns of the long haired drunk dancing with his co-goons? Tell us what you think.