Email

Dear Mr. Ajay, can you please send us your revised offer asap? Thanks
Trrrring.
'Hi, Ajay here. I just saw your email. Our revised offer is 4 lakhs'
'Oh ok, can you reply to my email saying this?'
'Email shemail kya yaar. When we are meeting and phoning and talking, what's the necessity of email? hehe'
Ok, I'll have to do it myself then.
Dear Mr. Ajay, we spoke. We are going ahead with the order on the basis of your revised quote of Rs 4 lakhs. Can you please 'email' me the address to which the order needs to be sent?
Please, God, no. New message alert. Yay! For once, an emailed reply to an emailed query.
Hi, js sw ur mesg cn u pls cll?? - Ajay
He better have something to tell me in addition to his address.
'Hi, Ajay?'
'Haan you wanted my address na, ABC enterprises, 34-5, Grant Road...'
This does not make sense. Does he have a keyboard allergy? That does it. No more phone conversations. My new mission in this world is to make email the only accepted means of communication. I create an sms template that goes out to every caller whose call I miss deliberately. 'I'm in a meeting. Please email'.
The only result of this strike is that I have a bunch of emails from Ajay, all of which say the same thing
got your sms. can you pls call
tried calling u but dnt gt thru. cn u pls call
gt an sms from u asking me to email. cn u pls call
Email is Ajay's paging device. He automatically calls people who email him, as a reflex. And the emails he sends out are only requests to call him back. I shall not budge till he understands the full range of functionality of Outlook Express and/or gmail. There is a small chance he's being arrested and I'm the one phone call he's allowed. He seems to have access to email though so that's unlikely. I decide to not call Ajay till I receive an email from him with actual content.
Ajay, this email is with reference to a meeting we have scheduled for tomorrow which you are required to attend. Please confirm by way of an email. I'm getting into a flight right now and will not be reachable for the next few hours.
hi - will attnd. thr r some paymnt issues. cn we discus that tmrw at the meeting?
Yay! There are at least 3 separate bits of content in that email, none of which is a request to call him.
Dear Mr. Vivek, Can you send us some product brochures please?
hi - cn u call pl?
Vivek, welcome to my 3-week Voice-to-Data Personal Transformation Program...