Talks began at the apex meeting today between the Indian Prime Minister and Suneil Sharma, class leader, 7 'C', AP Public School at Hyderabad and sources say the students might call off the fast this evening, which would be one more feather in the PM's cap. This would be the thirteenth time in the last year that the PM has intervened and saved fasters' lives, in the process conceding five new states, a couple of new rivers, his private jet, besides agreeing to say 'Hail Sonya! Mere paas maa hai' at every meeting he attends.
To refresh readers' memories, the fifth new state was announced last month, splitting Bengal, as a preemptive move, when Rani Mukerjee was spotted fasting for her critically declaimed role in Dil Bole Kadippa. Students flunked Social Studies exams as a result and this resulted in stray rioting across the country. "Everyone knows we depend on map marks to pass", says Suneil, recalling the events of the last few months, "and we just can't remember 34 states apart from knowing where the metro cities, tigers and wheat plantations are in the country. The choice was either to get beaten at home or to go on a fast and that's what we've done"
Sources say the PM has agreed to knock off a few fundamental rights to make civics easier and this was well received by the student population.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Gurkanth Desai absurdity se nahin dartha...
GD :
Khada ho jaoon ya iske liye bhi license chahiye.
(har har)
Aap kehte hai main kanoon ke khilaaf hoon. 40 saal pehle ek aur aadmi tha jo kanoon ke khilaaf tha, aaj hum unko Bapu kehte hain.
(Oh my god, Gandhiji? Really? I guess it's better than appearing in the Mont Blanc campaign)
Unke waqt main ghulami kanoon tha, unhone naya kanoon banaya - humari azadi ka kanoon. Main bapu nahi hoon main bas apna dhanda karna janta hoon, mehnat janta hoon garibi janta hoon.
(So the analogy is gurkanth desai: Gandhiji::tax evasion:freedom struggle?)
Do kameez ek biwi aur ek saale le kar Bombay aaya tha, socha tha business karoonga. Yahan pahuncha to dekha ki dhande karne ke saare darwaze band the. Who khulte the to sirf ameeron ke liye. Sarkari darwaze the yeh aap ke banaye hue, ya to laat mar kar khulte the ya ji hazoori de ke. Maine dono kiya jahan laat mar sakta tha laat maari, jahan bola salaam do maine bola salaam lo.
(this is a confession? the case can be closed here?)
Aaj mujhe yahan khada kar ke aap log yeh kah rahe ki yeh aadmi itni laat kyon marta hai, sala salam bahut karta hai. Kis baat se naraz hai aap meri tarakki se ya meri tarakki ki tezi se ya isliye sab gussa hai ki ek mamooli ganwar ki had se aagey chala gaya hoon main
(is baat se naraaz hain ki aapki yeh speech ya tho irrelevant hai ya illogical, aur isse mera sar fod raha hai)
Aapne ilzaam lagaya hai na mujh par excise, custom, income tax ye tax woh tax.jab dhanda maine shuru kiya tha in sab shabdon ka matlab nahi janta tha
(ah,the 'ignorance of the law' approach)
kai baar gira hoon tab jaa kar seekha hoon. Paise bachane ke liye Payedhooni se 20-20 km chala hoon Kelasilk ka ye bada gadda sar pe dho ke. Paise ki keemat kya hoti hai main janta hoon, agar paisa ban sakta tha to maine banaya hai lekin sirf apne liye nahi apne 30 lakh shareholders ke liye bhi.
Panel: Aapke kuch 3 minute baaki hai
(you've gotta be kidding me!haaaalp!)
GD: Mere ko yeh golf khelna nahi aata, ye ghode ki race bhi nahi khelta hoon
(kaun kambakht poocha yaar yeh sab)
lekin apne dhande ka mazboot khiladi hoon main. Polyster banana janta hoon fibre, chemical woh bhi A1 quality ka sabse saste daam main. Yeh hai meri galti is liye maafi mangoon aap se?
(no, fool, read the charges. And we are asking you to go to jail, not apologise)
Petrol pump attendant tha main dabbe le ke ghoomta tha jaise apna desh haath faila ke ghoomta hai world bank ke aagey paise de do sadak banana hai.
(ridiculous analogy #n)
Kyon na badle kismet humari, humari aur humare desh ki, aap chahte hai main humesha petrol pump attendant rahoon. Humein kyon teesri duniya bulaya jaata hai humein bhi haq hai pehli duniya ban ne ka aur hum ban sakte hai. Hum wahan pahunch sakte hai woh upar top tak.
Yahan tak pahunchne ke liye bahut kuch khoya hai maine yeh haath khoye hai maine latka rehta hai sala. Aur jab tak yeh enquiry khatam hogi na jaane kya kya kho doonga main apni awaz, apna dimaag.
(abey kaunsa dimaag?)
Lekin ek cheez aap mujhse nahi cheen paoge woh hai meri himmat, woh nahi khoonga main. Kyonki meri himaat aam aadmi ki himmat hai, is desh ki himmat hai.
(oh boy)
aap log sab milke mujhe rokna chahthe hain na? main akele nahin hoon. mere saath poora desh hai. aur desh ko rokne ki taakat aap mein nahin hai. na hi aapke kaanoon mein. jo darwaze aap bandh rakhna chahthe hain, woh khul rahein hain.
(haan, jail ke darwaaze)
taang hada di humnein usme aur hamaari taang bahut mazbooth hai. Arey is desh ki tarakki par kaunsi enquiry bithayenge aap aur humein kaun si enquiry rok payegi. Aap ne mujhe 5 minute diya than a sadhe 4 minute main sab khatam kar diya. 30 second munafa yahi hota hai business aur agar iske liye bhi aap mujhe sazaa sena chahe to de dijiye Gurukant Desai saza se nahi darta.
(kya dialogue writer saza se dartha hai? poochke batana yaar...)
So the defense can be summarised as follows.
GD can't be convicted because
- the law keeps changing so it's not reliable to base convictions on it
- his offences have enabled other people to make money
- his courage is the country's courage and the common man's courage and to stop him means to stop the country and the common man, both of which are understandably infeasible.
- the motives of the panel are questionable - they want to punish him because they want the country to not progress, business to be difficult, to snatch his courage and are also allegedly upset by the fact that he was a poor villager/petrol pump attendant. They have, as always, covered up these real motives in a veil of jargon such as customs duty evasion and so on.
- he came to Bombay with his wife and brother in law and they knew as much law as the do kameez which also they carried.
- putting him in jail will amount to applying for a World Bank loan.
What is interesting is that the panel acquits him. And more interestingly, the movie was a hit.
Khada ho jaoon ya iske liye bhi license chahiye.
(har har)
Aap kehte hai main kanoon ke khilaaf hoon. 40 saal pehle ek aur aadmi tha jo kanoon ke khilaaf tha, aaj hum unko Bapu kehte hain.
(Oh my god, Gandhiji? Really? I guess it's better than appearing in the Mont Blanc campaign)
Unke waqt main ghulami kanoon tha, unhone naya kanoon banaya - humari azadi ka kanoon. Main bapu nahi hoon main bas apna dhanda karna janta hoon, mehnat janta hoon garibi janta hoon.
(So the analogy is gurkanth desai: Gandhiji::tax evasion:freedom struggle?)
Do kameez ek biwi aur ek saale le kar Bombay aaya tha, socha tha business karoonga. Yahan pahuncha to dekha ki dhande karne ke saare darwaze band the. Who khulte the to sirf ameeron ke liye. Sarkari darwaze the yeh aap ke banaye hue, ya to laat mar kar khulte the ya ji hazoori de ke. Maine dono kiya jahan laat mar sakta tha laat maari, jahan bola salaam do maine bola salaam lo.
(this is a confession? the case can be closed here?)
Aaj mujhe yahan khada kar ke aap log yeh kah rahe ki yeh aadmi itni laat kyon marta hai, sala salam bahut karta hai. Kis baat se naraz hai aap meri tarakki se ya meri tarakki ki tezi se ya isliye sab gussa hai ki ek mamooli ganwar ki had se aagey chala gaya hoon main
(is baat se naraaz hain ki aapki yeh speech ya tho irrelevant hai ya illogical, aur isse mera sar fod raha hai)
Aapne ilzaam lagaya hai na mujh par excise, custom, income tax ye tax woh tax.jab dhanda maine shuru kiya tha in sab shabdon ka matlab nahi janta tha
(ah,the 'ignorance of the law' approach)
kai baar gira hoon tab jaa kar seekha hoon. Paise bachane ke liye Payedhooni se 20-20 km chala hoon Kelasilk ka ye bada gadda sar pe dho ke. Paise ki keemat kya hoti hai main janta hoon, agar paisa ban sakta tha to maine banaya hai lekin sirf apne liye nahi apne 30 lakh shareholders ke liye bhi.
Panel: Aapke kuch 3 minute baaki hai
(you've gotta be kidding me!haaaalp!)
GD: Mere ko yeh golf khelna nahi aata, ye ghode ki race bhi nahi khelta hoon
(kaun kambakht poocha yaar yeh sab)
lekin apne dhande ka mazboot khiladi hoon main. Polyster banana janta hoon fibre, chemical woh bhi A1 quality ka sabse saste daam main. Yeh hai meri galti is liye maafi mangoon aap se?
(no, fool, read the charges. And we are asking you to go to jail, not apologise)
Petrol pump attendant tha main dabbe le ke ghoomta tha jaise apna desh haath faila ke ghoomta hai world bank ke aagey paise de do sadak banana hai.
(ridiculous analogy #n)
Kyon na badle kismet humari, humari aur humare desh ki, aap chahte hai main humesha petrol pump attendant rahoon. Humein kyon teesri duniya bulaya jaata hai humein bhi haq hai pehli duniya ban ne ka aur hum ban sakte hai. Hum wahan pahunch sakte hai woh upar top tak.
Yahan tak pahunchne ke liye bahut kuch khoya hai maine yeh haath khoye hai maine latka rehta hai sala. Aur jab tak yeh enquiry khatam hogi na jaane kya kya kho doonga main apni awaz, apna dimaag.
(abey kaunsa dimaag?)
Lekin ek cheez aap mujhse nahi cheen paoge woh hai meri himmat, woh nahi khoonga main. Kyonki meri himaat aam aadmi ki himmat hai, is desh ki himmat hai.
(oh boy)
aap log sab milke mujhe rokna chahthe hain na? main akele nahin hoon. mere saath poora desh hai. aur desh ko rokne ki taakat aap mein nahin hai. na hi aapke kaanoon mein. jo darwaze aap bandh rakhna chahthe hain, woh khul rahein hain.
(haan, jail ke darwaaze)
taang hada di humnein usme aur hamaari taang bahut mazbooth hai. Arey is desh ki tarakki par kaunsi enquiry bithayenge aap aur humein kaun si enquiry rok payegi. Aap ne mujhe 5 minute diya than a sadhe 4 minute main sab khatam kar diya. 30 second munafa yahi hota hai business aur agar iske liye bhi aap mujhe sazaa sena chahe to de dijiye Gurukant Desai saza se nahi darta.
(kya dialogue writer saza se dartha hai? poochke batana yaar...)
So the defense can be summarised as follows.
GD can't be convicted because
- the law keeps changing so it's not reliable to base convictions on it
- his offences have enabled other people to make money
- his courage is the country's courage and the common man's courage and to stop him means to stop the country and the common man, both of which are understandably infeasible.
- the motives of the panel are questionable - they want to punish him because they want the country to not progress, business to be difficult, to snatch his courage and are also allegedly upset by the fact that he was a poor villager/petrol pump attendant. They have, as always, covered up these real motives in a veil of jargon such as customs duty evasion and so on.
- he came to Bombay with his wife and brother in law and they knew as much law as the do kameez which also they carried.
- putting him in jail will amount to applying for a World Bank loan.
What is interesting is that the panel acquits him. And more interestingly, the movie was a hit.
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