I write to recommend Mr. Dandan Dandanadevan for the Graduate Program in Arachnomatics at your University. I offer a second year course in advanced photography at the Chennai Institute of Technology and also head the photography laboratory. I have been Assistant Professor at this Institute for the last 25 years. I have over 250 research publications to my credit as well as innumerable journal articles. But I digress.
I have definitely seen this guy Dandan somewhere. Was it at the annual cul-fest? No, that guy was thinner. I can't place him exactly but certainly looks like a decent chap.
So, CIT takes in 500 students every year. I remember about 2 students in every batch by name and 20 more by face - the ones who take my course and show interest. There are about 30 more in the grey area who register for the course and meet me only during the end term examination. And then the other 450 students of the batch who I run into in the corridors. I swear Dandan's not in the first 22.
But I urge you to consider this problem in a practical manner. From historical data, 100% of all students requesting me for a recommendation letter have taken my course. The only way Dandan could be otherwise is if he knew I would think along these lines and is exploiting my complacence. Let's say the probability of that happening is 1%, a very aggressive estimate.
I give only B and C grades to my students. About 90% of the reco-letter seekers are "B-putters". C putters come to me if they have flunked just about every other course or if they have done something extraordinary that they think I should remember them by. In either case, out of sympathy, you may consider this letter to be a strong recommendation.
So Dandan has an 89.1% chance of having taken my course and obtained a B grade. This is of course in addition to a 10% chance of being in one of the college sports teams and a 2% chance of being a coordinator of the cul-fest, and so on.
Reducing this based on data of a perfectly normal dude going crazy in the US, I have decided to give you an 80%-correct assurance overall that Dandan will be an asset to your university just as he was likely to have been to ours. If I'm provided more data on how I know him exactly, I could better my estimate.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Pityananda claims he is Tiger Woodz
Full text of Godman Pityananda's apology speech
"I know I have been irresponsible. I have caused unspeakable harm to my domestic life in several south Indian towns (under different aliases, of course) and have completely nipped my porn film career in the bud, with this leaked video with laughable production values.
I know many people here believed in me. They believed I was God Himself, and so the same rules didn't apply. They thought it would be my face that would be blurred out in the leaked video. They heard me say 'celibate' when I'd actually said 'celebrate', the morons. Anyway as Ranjida and Gia and Bhagirathi and... well, as they all said to me yesterday, I have to show my repentance in action. I intend to speak to Ranjida and make amends. What we will say and do, will be strictly between the two of us. And on youtube after a while for free download.
I also have thousands of emails and messages from my countless devotees, and some from the court and the local police as well. I haven't opened them but I'm overwhelmed at this show of affection. To the skeptics who don't believe in me, who think I'm not God's incarnate on earth, I have only one thing to say. I'm Tiger Woodz, actually. His Indian avatar. No really, we are the same person.
I have a lot of work to do. I intend to turn Buddhist and live the values which my mother taught me at a very young age, too young for me to remember any of that stuff now. I only ask one thing of you. Please don't ransack my ashrams. Dudes, let's face facts. I'm a really ugly dude and it takes me time to set up a racket like this with all these struggling actresses. Go find your own room...find room in your own heart to forgive me. Thank you."
"I know I have been irresponsible. I have caused unspeakable harm to my domestic life in several south Indian towns (under different aliases, of course) and have completely nipped my porn film career in the bud, with this leaked video with laughable production values.
I know many people here believed in me. They believed I was God Himself, and so the same rules didn't apply. They thought it would be my face that would be blurred out in the leaked video. They heard me say 'celibate' when I'd actually said 'celebrate', the morons. Anyway as Ranjida and Gia and Bhagirathi and... well, as they all said to me yesterday, I have to show my repentance in action. I intend to speak to Ranjida and make amends. What we will say and do, will be strictly between the two of us. And on youtube after a while for free download.
I also have thousands of emails and messages from my countless devotees, and some from the court and the local police as well. I haven't opened them but I'm overwhelmed at this show of affection. To the skeptics who don't believe in me, who think I'm not God's incarnate on earth, I have only one thing to say. I'm Tiger Woodz, actually. His Indian avatar. No really, we are the same person.
I have a lot of work to do. I intend to turn Buddhist and live the values which my mother taught me at a very young age, too young for me to remember any of that stuff now. I only ask one thing of you. Please don't ransack my ashrams. Dudes, let's face facts. I'm a really ugly dude and it takes me time to set up a racket like this with all these struggling actresses. Go find your own room...find room in your own heart to forgive me. Thank you."
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