Nobama shatters 100m world record, runs a 9.49

When Usain Bolt ran a 9.58 at Berlin, the world assumed he would be the world's fastest man for a long time to come. Well, US President, Nobel Peace Prize and Miss Hawaii winner Parack Nobama, had other ideas. In a widely telecast speech yesterday at Chicago, he scorched the podium by clocking 9.49 seconds (wind assisted) as the whole world watched in disbelief.
The President started off in characteristic style, personifying Chicago repeatedly and making an impassioned plea to the International Olympic Committee to select it as the venue for the 2016 Olympics. Chicago will then be the home of new world records and new feats previously thought impossible, he said. Can man run 100 m in less than 9.5 seconds - yes, he can, yes, he can, he added to thunderous applause. There was a call from the IOC Chairman, who congratulated the President on his incomplete speech and moved by the contents, awarded the 2012 and 2016 Olympic Gold medals to him over the phone and gave him a timing of 9.49 seconds. The athletics fraternity is, however, skeptical about the time and has called for dope tests on the President and his speech writer, for which the official protocol is now being worked out. If they pass, poor Ussain Bolt will have to wait till 2020 to win back his gold medal.