Friday, April 24, 2009

Meetings

1.
Looks ok. Average height. Oh, didn't notice the heels. Short. Fair.
'Should we order? What would you like to have? Coffee? Something to eat? I just had lunch, so I'll just have a coffee. That's ok with you, right?'
Talkative.
'Yeah, fine'
'I speak too fast no? I know I have that habit. What to do? You have a problem? You aren't saying anything?'
'No, no issues. So this your first meeting?'
'No, I met some guy last month. It was so weird...'
No, dude, don't switch off now, stay awake, hello? Gone. I regain consciousness but story is over by then
'So he didn't call. Why's this coffee taking so long? What about you? First meeting? What do you do by the way? I didn't ask. Sorry. Should have. So you live around here? You are silent. Did I say something wrong?'
Ears objecting to too many words going in. Time to pull out.
'Yeah, nearby. I had to be close to the hospital. Things have been quite bad after the syphilis diagnosis'
'Oh ok so my favourite is hazelnu...what diagnosis?'
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2.
Looks decent. Shortlisting process is working well. Mandatory enquiries and pleasantries.
'I don't watch movies at all. I don't like movies. I think they are a waste of time'
Not good. More conversation.
'I read only non-fiction and management books'
Do I look like I want robots for kids? More inane small talk.
'Haaaan I think so that is correct'
Bad grammar also. Launch time.
'There's something I have to tell you. You will be a bit shocked but I hope it won't affect, you know, whatever we have...er. We were also shocked. I first thought it was just Madras Eye...'
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Kakhi dumps second husband, readies for Season-2

In a press conference today, reality show diva Kakhi Jawant publicly dumped her second husband, Abhishek, citing personal reasons. Abhishek, who tied for first place in Season-1 of 'Kakhi ka Swayamvar' last year, is planning to sue the TV channel for divorce, sources say. Readers will remember that Kakhi had separated from Sanjay, the other winner/husband earlier this year. After last season's finale which saw Kakhi gushing 'I love you both. It's a tie' followed by a 3-way marriage amidst much fanfare, things did not quite go as planned in the Kakhi household. 'Every fight can't be settled with a dance-off' Kakhi had once told a journalist late last year.
Trade analysts feel this is just Kakhi's preparation for Season-2 of 'Kakhi ka Swayamvar' which will be a more socially acceptable show if she is single again.
Police meanwhile arrested 17 attendees of Kakhi's press conference for wearing a third chappal with malicious intent.