Ameer Khan proposes solution to Cashmere issue, irks everyone

On the eve of the release of his new film Daangal, superstar Ameer Khan called a press conference to read out from a neatly typed out essay titled 'If I were Prime Minister', probably borrowed from his kids' homework assignment. He went on to propose a unique solution to the Cashmere issue, involving physically breaking the state and transporting it to South India where it would be safer. 'I'm sure my friends Donaald Tramp, S.Ar.K, Salmaan, Rakhi Savant, Husain Bolt, Moe Pharah, Sunni Leon will all agree', he said, in an attempt to move up on Google Search results.
The news media reacted fast and he's slated to appear on 15 talk shows this evening to discuss his new idea. 'This has nothing to do with Daangal. Just thought of sharing my views as a citizen two days before the movie's release' he added. Meanwhile, Irfan Khaan, who had previously raised a storm over his comments on animal sacrifice in the run-up to Madari's release, is on the look out for an Islam related topic he can speak on, to promote his next movie - he invites topic suggestions at khantroversy@hotmail.com

Chaos reigns as !amil Nad and pauseBihar spar over first slot at Inter State Council Meet

Deedi would not have seen this coming. Fully expecting to be in the first 5 speaking slots the Bongal CM made her way to the Inter State Council only to discover that Bongal was relegated to last place in the list once again.
In a flurry of announcements that came in last evening that she clearly missed, 25 states proposed changes in their names - only Assam, Arunachal, Andhra abstained from seeking a change. Aajasthan was pipped to be the clear winner before two states pulled out a rabbit from the proverbial hat, getting an approval to using special characters.
The Chair of the Interstate council has called for a special meeting at midnight to decide which of !amil Nad and 'spacebar' Bihar, nicknamed pauseBihar, will begin proceedings.