Briefing

9 - 10 am : brief miniboss on day's agenda, one-on-one
10 - 11 : gather dusty old papers, print emails which might be relevant for day's agenda
11-12 : miniboss briefed by site team on latest status
12-1 : miniboss, site team briefed by contractors on latester status
1-2 : lunch
2-3 : preparation for who says/does not say what, in meeting
3-4 : mini-boss briefs bigboss one-on-one
4-5 : site team briefs bigboss in presence of mini-boss
5-6.30 : all-party meeting : bigboss yells
6.30 - 7 : miniboss follow-up one-on-one with bigboss
7 - 8 : miniboss all-party follow-up meeting to interpret 5 pm meeting proceedings *
8 - 9 : miniboss briefs site team about how to follow up with contractors
9-10 : get briefed by miniboss one-on-one on how to follow-up with site team
10 pm : procrastinate dirty task of minuting the day's proceedings to next year


* Eg : "When big boss said 'get lost you idiots', what he actually meant was 'get drawing #673 ready in time for construction to proceed' " and so on...

'The of Panama' has no takers

The saga of the Indian release of the Pierc Brosnan-Jamy Curtis starrer 'The Tailor of Panama' finally came to an end with the movie being withdrawn from theatres after a less-than-lukewarm reception from Indian audiences. The movie was released in India six years after its world-wide premiere and this was one of the reasons for the poor opening.
Distributors in the country released the movie after deleting the word 'tailor' in the title fearing a backlash similar to the 'Billu' episode. Analysts feel this may have affected the box office collections as the new title 'The of Panama' was a little too ambiguous for the average Indian movie-goer.

Muttalik, Tisha confess to foul play; TWC says don't rely on us

Raam Sena chief Muttalik and Tisha, the 'brain' behind the 'pink underwear' campaign confessed today to having stage-managed the entire Valentine's day episode every year to benefit a certain underwear manufacturer in South India, owned by Tisha's father. In a letter filed with SEBI, Tisha said, "I blame it all on the 2008 recession. People tend to repair existing chaddis rather than buy, in an economic downturn. End 2008 was when we got to know of Muttalik, who had won the 'Sathhyam young enterpreneur' award for his business plan of starting an extremist right wing party funded by mainstream media. Over many cocktails in Mangalore, we came up with a way of working together. He was supposed to create a ruckus about 'loose' women, which he did a bit too well, in fact. I would then start this campaign that would help us hit record sales of underwear and turn around dad's company, which also went exactly as per plan. The profits were housed in a shell company owned 50% each by Muttalik and myself. The business worked like a charm - these chaddis bought every year by faithful activists, got couriered to Muttalik, shipped back to the factory and recycled the next year. We did this every Valentine's day for 5 years and went public in 2014. We then started overstating chaddi sales to keep up with competition which had the advantage of uniform sales throughout the year. It was like holding the tail of a chaddi-less tiger, which you can't let go of. When the soiled 6-year old chaddis went again this year, people started smelling something. It was all downhill from there. I have to say that at no time did I siphon these chaddis for my own or Muttalik's use.'
When contacted, TWC, the statutory auditors of this company had this to say :'We aren't that good at audit really. Don't rely on us'

We will not allow 'greeting card companies' conspiracy day' celebrations : Muttalik

Raam Sena (RS) chief Muttalik stirred up yet another controversy at a rally yesterday in Bungalore. After creating a ruckus and courting arrest on Valentine's day earlier this year, the RS is now on to their next target.
Every year around this time, the entire nation eagerly awaits March 15th, celebrated as 'greeting card companies' conspiracy day' (GCCCD) to commemorate the same day in 2010 when Ballmark Inc. came up with the idea of 'general day' when people give cards to themselves for no apparent reason. For GCCCD is a day when everyone usually takes to the streets, drinking themselves silly and partying till dawn. Maybe not this year. At least not if Muttalik has his way.
'We think it is against Indian culture to come back home after dinner-time. I used to be caned to death if I entered my home after sunset' Muttalik reminisced fondly.'So if we see unrelated people out on Mothers' day, we will force adoption. If people get out on Friendship day, they will have to add me on facebook and compare movie taste with me. We have a plan for all these so called 'days'' he said.

Dany Boil to make movies about all the Indian cities he's heard of

Stunned at the success of his first movie about India, Dumbdog zillionaire, director Dany Boil has promised to make 183 sequels about various Indian towns and cities. Except that they will all be the same.
'I love you, Mambaai', he cried, at a press conference in Hyderabad, where he made this announcement. 'Seeing the warm reception my movie's got, I've decided to release this, world-wide, again and again over the next few months. What will be different is that the pre-release marketing hype will take the name of a different town each time, to get the western world to watch the same movie repeatedly. Also we have added some facial expressions to the lead character Dev Pateil in some versions. Dumbdog zillionaire -2,3,4,5,6 which are supposedly based in Indore, Nagpur, Surat, Cuttack and Madurai have all been released and are runaway hits in the States. People all over the world are finally appreciating how diverse a country Mambaai is' he said, beaming.
This was followed by a video of a New York theater screening of Dumbdog-3 (Nagpur) showing a visibly moved audience. 'Nagpore is such a colourful city. I never knew Pakistan had such towns' gushed one member of the audience.