Azhruddin, Sunjay Dutt start 'clean politics' campaign

The Milan party may well be fielding the cleanest candidates this election, with Bollywood superstar Sunjay Dutt also joining his sister, breaking away from his prior loyalties. The party has an average count of 5 criminal cases per candidate which is one of the lowest this election. The party's overall split-up looks quite good, with party candidates, between them, storing 33 submachine guns, 350 tons RdX, throwing 56 cricket matches, killing or kidnapping or raping or beating up 45,456 victims overall, wiping out 7 entire villages, selling 35,678 pages of classified government information to friendly neighbours, and accepting 13,400 crore in bribe money (as per declared receipts). Taking advantage of these docile numbers are the party's star candidates, former cricketer Azhruddin and Sunju Dada who are launching a campaign on the 'clean politics' platform.
'Who would you like to bring to power, I ask you. On the one hand you have criminals who have more than 7-8 ongoing cases against them on an average, involving rape, murder, extortion and bribery. On the other, you have people like me and Sunju, who have less than 5-6 cases against us. I threw cricket matches for money and Sunju aided acts of terror. Is that something even worth remembering?' asked Azhruddin in a fiery rally speech. 'On my personal involvement in the match-fixing scandal, I just have this to say. I once offered Sachen and Sourav 4 crore to throw an important match and they refused. Did I insist? No. Instead, I tried to do whatever little I could with a duck, some dropped catches and terrible captaincy. That was the kind of man I was and am.' he said. 'And my rivals claim that match-fixing amounts to selling your country. The idea is laughable. There are so many other things in a country which can't be sold. And we always had the opportunity of winning matches where I didn't play due to some injury, didn't we? What's your reply to that?' he challenged.