Management lessons from the Third Battle of Tumkur 1345 A.D.

This is the first part of a series where the author draws management lessons from all sorts of crap that happened such a long time ago that factual inaccuracy will not be noticed.

When Raja Kumbha invaded the Shaurya empire, he forgot to take along his army. He got caught and spent the rest of his life in the Shauryan prison which was only so-so but he managed.
Lesson : In a corporate setting, you should learn to adapt, especially if you are absent-minded.
The Shaurya empire, angered by Kumbha's feeble attempt, decided to acquire territories in Newfoundland and set sail on rough seas. The ships got screwed in storm after storm and the emperor Rudraveera was thrown overboard and he drowned.
Lesson : You should be a team player and a leader but swimming is an individual sort of activity.
Angered at the storm, Tungabhadra, the emperor's 8th wife, went to meet his brother Kudraveera . She described in lengthy poetic verse the storm that had killed the emperor. But Kudraveera married her by force and that was at the least the end of her mediocre poetry.
Lesson : When making a presentation, you should keep the audience in mind.
Kudraveera attacked and annexed large parts of North India. On a hunting expedition in a forest he encountered a group of tribals with swords and other weapons who attacked and surrounded him. He tried imitating them and making their sounds and they started clapping. Soon they adopted him as part of the tribe and he became one of them but one day they killed and ate him with green chutney and margarine.
Lesson : If you join a new organisation, you need to read up on its culture.
Kudra's son-in-law Pratap was a brave warrior, second to none. He shifted his capital from Ferozepur to Andhipatti and then back 4-5 times thereby killing most of his kingdom. He died of a rose essence overdose at the age of 97.
Lesson : A dead team is as good as no team at all.
Pratap left behind two sons each, from his two wives and there was no clear indication of who would succeed him. But, in his will, he had asked for his wealth to be divided according to a complicated formula based on seniority and many other variables. But he hadn't left behind much of anything to divide, so it wasn't a real problem.
Lesson : Succession planning is important but you should do other stuff too.
Pratap's eldest son, Bhootraj took on the mighty Malavi empire in the battle of Tumkur. His general Shoora was a 9 to 6 kinda guy and refused to fight beyond sunset. But Bhootraj insisted and Shoora obliged unwillingly, cursing under his breath.
Lesson : Screw your subordinates. They can't do anything