Thursday, December 9, 2010

An open letter to open letter writers

Dear openletterwriter (OLW) - or should I say, ahem, honourably illustriously sarcastic opinionated OLW,
I write to you with great dismay and some other profound emotions about the crisis that our nation is facing because of OLWs like your good self. I had no choice but to write to you, sir.
Sir, I had no choice but to write to you.
Actually the other choice was to not write to you, honourable sir. Wait, hang on, the third option was to do what the term 'letter' usually signifies. Which is to buy an envelope, some stamps, write this very same letter, take a printout, walk my opinionated limelight-seeking ass to the nearest post box and drop it in. But dear sir, my dear dear sir, I digress. This Open Letter is not about me.
I have been tracking your good self's penchant for open letters for the last many years and trust me, there is no bigger fan than I, of your open letters. You have been a vigilante citizen for many years now, writing bitingly acerbic open letters and shoving these down the throats of an all-absorbing media. I still remember the open letter you wrote to the Home Minister when the terror attack occurred. There was even a rumor that the letter made a couple of terrorists surrender. And they couldn't even read English. Such is the power that your open letters wield. You didn't stop there. You went on to then write open letters to each Minister, some minor celebrities, Paris Hilton, every member of the Bigg Boss-season 3 household and so on. But even you will agree with me that, lately, your open letters are making me puke a little inside my mouth.
Don't get me wrong, sir. I'm not, for one moment, for one solitary microsecond, saying that you shouldn't write letters. Your letters are the very cornerstone of the basis that this country has built its pillars of fundamentals on. But with the advent of the internet, the open letters you write with so much passion, are bound to fall in the wrong hands, namely, readers'. So write all you want, write like the wind, but please buy one 25 paisa cover, one 2 rupee stamp and post it to the one guy you want to talk to.
Thanking you,
Yours "very faithfully but only inside double quotes (wink, wink)"
An innocently common concerned citizen

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Hilarious da :)
also loved the phone tapping one!

duh said...

thanks man :)

sethu said...

Is it about 'deep'ly self-righteous raj guy? ;)

duh said...

he's definitely one of the many. i have to say i have not been able to finish reading even one of his weekly open letters :)