NiR: Hi...is this Mr. Kuja?
Ku: Yes, it is me only, tell.
NiR: I spoke to Ajay just now...
Ku: Ok
NiR: and then to Suneil...
Ku: Ok. What he is telling?
NiR: And then to Aneil
Ku: How did you speak to so many people, all just now?
NiR: and then to...
Ku: Hello? Ok, what they are all telling, tell no?
NiR: And then to you...
Ku: That part I also know
NiR: Ajay's telling Sunil that Bharat told you, you know, about the thing
Ku: Hain?
NiR: and you should also tell Leader about that
Ku: Dey, who is this speaking?
NiR: It's me
Ku: Youaa? then wrong number. don't call again
---
NiR: Hi, I just spoke to CBI
Ku: Ok
NiR: and then to SC and CVC and
Ku: Ok, you spoke to all people. Then what?
NiR: There's talk of investigating a scam
Ku: Which one?
NiR: The 2G one, where the exchequer lost 1.75 lakh...
Ku: Who is this X.Shekhar fellow? And he paid 1.75 lakh to who in my department? Tell details
NiR: No, I mean the government lost so much in the spectrum allocation? So I spoke to Suneil and then to Arun and...
Ku: Ayyo. Started againa?
NiR: and then to your wife
Ku: Haan, only that was left. Enter into family alsovaa? And then? What she is telling?
NiR: You should buy her a black sari
Ku: Ok. I know who is behinding all this. I will tell Leader.
---
NiR: So they want to give two ministries
Ku: Let them tell Leader.
NiR: I asked for 4. I think we'll settle at 2.5
Ku: Ok ok
NiR: I've always liked textiles and fashion, from the time I was 3-4 years old.
Ku: For that what I can do now?
NiR: No, so I asked for textile ministry.
Ku: So you like talking on phone so much so you asked for telecom also for me? hahaha
NiR: Kuja, you are too much
Ku: What is other half ministry?
NiR: Culture or something where money is half.
Ku: Chee. Culture and all who will take.
NiR: Ok, so I spoke to Raten and
Ku: So what he is telling?
NiR: Nothing actually. I only spoke.
Ku: Very good. Once in life if you let others talk, I will get more covers I feel.
NiR: Cover means?
Ku: Suitcase, cover, all that. 3G also coming and I want to retire fast.
NiR: Yeah, I will talk to Barca Datt about that
Ku: Ayyo. You can talk to my grandmother instead. Same result.
NiR: And then she will speak to Veer
Ku: Who are all these fellows? I don't watch TV these days
NiR: and he will speak with
Ku: Yeah. correct. Now I have to go, but feel free to finish conversation before hanging up.
---
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
An open letter to open letter writers
Dear openletterwriter (OLW) - or should I say, ahem, honourably illustriously sarcastic opinionated OLW,
I write to you with great dismay and some other profound emotions about the crisis that our nation is facing because of OLWs like your good self. I had no choice but to write to you, sir.
Sir, I had no choice but to write to you.
Actually the other choice was to not write to you, honourable sir. Wait, hang on, the third option was to do what the term 'letter' usually signifies. Which is to buy an envelope, some stamps, write this very same letter, take a printout, walk my opinionated limelight-seeking ass to the nearest post box and drop it in. But dear sir, my dear dear sir, I digress. This Open Letter is not about me.
I have been tracking your good self's penchant for open letters for the last many years and trust me, there is no bigger fan than I, of your open letters. You have been a vigilante citizen for many years now, writing bitingly acerbic open letters and shoving these down the throats of an all-absorbing media. I still remember the open letter you wrote to the Home Minister when the terror attack occurred. There was even a rumor that the letter made a couple of terrorists surrender. And they couldn't even read English. Such is the power that your open letters wield. You didn't stop there. You went on to then write open letters to each Minister, some minor celebrities, Paris Hilton, every member of the Bigg Boss-season 3 household and so on. But even you will agree with me that, lately, your open letters are making me puke a little inside my mouth.
Don't get me wrong, sir. I'm not, for one moment, for one solitary microsecond, saying that you shouldn't write letters. Your letters are the very cornerstone of the basis that this country has built its pillars of fundamentals on. But with the advent of the internet, the open letters you write with so much passion, are bound to fall in the wrong hands, namely, readers'. So write all you want, write like the wind, but please buy one 25 paisa cover, one 2 rupee stamp and post it to the one guy you want to talk to.
Thanking you,
Yours "very faithfully but only inside double quotes (wink, wink)"
An innocently common concerned citizen
I write to you with great dismay and some other profound emotions about the crisis that our nation is facing because of OLWs like your good self. I had no choice but to write to you, sir.
Sir, I had no choice but to write to you.
Actually the other choice was to not write to you, honourable sir. Wait, hang on, the third option was to do what the term 'letter' usually signifies. Which is to buy an envelope, some stamps, write this very same letter, take a printout, walk my opinionated limelight-seeking ass to the nearest post box and drop it in. But dear sir, my dear dear sir, I digress. This Open Letter is not about me.
I have been tracking your good self's penchant for open letters for the last many years and trust me, there is no bigger fan than I, of your open letters. You have been a vigilante citizen for many years now, writing bitingly acerbic open letters and shoving these down the throats of an all-absorbing media. I still remember the open letter you wrote to the Home Minister when the terror attack occurred. There was even a rumor that the letter made a couple of terrorists surrender. And they couldn't even read English. Such is the power that your open letters wield. You didn't stop there. You went on to then write open letters to each Minister, some minor celebrities, Paris Hilton, every member of the Bigg Boss-season 3 household and so on. But even you will agree with me that, lately, your open letters are making me puke a little inside my mouth.
Don't get me wrong, sir. I'm not, for one moment, for one solitary microsecond, saying that you shouldn't write letters. Your letters are the very cornerstone of the basis that this country has built its pillars of fundamentals on. But with the advent of the internet, the open letters you write with so much passion, are bound to fall in the wrong hands, namely, readers'. So write all you want, write like the wind, but please buy one 25 paisa cover, one 2 rupee stamp and post it to the one guy you want to talk to.
Thanking you,
Yours "very faithfully but only inside double quotes (wink, wink)"
An innocently common concerned citizen
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