Serial sex offender Phunny Murty launched a new app today in Vegas amidst widespread speculation and curiosity mostly about his personal life though, not the app. Nicknamed the iFidel, the app allows you to customise a pre-nuptial agreement for extra marital affairs, the first of its kind. Also called the pre-extra-nup-app, the app is primarily meant to protect the founder-promoter from expensive out-of-court settlements, when the extra-nuptialled women decide to turn hostile.
In the post launch press meet, Phunny was at his combative best. Transcript below.
Q. What's the status of the 5 pending lawsuits against you?
A. Can we stick to questions about iFidel please?
Q. No.
A. I can't comment obviously. But I'll say this - I'm in independent relationships with 4 women at the moment, 2 of which are marriages, I think. I have to check with my lawyer. This is in addition to my long standing marriage which has only been strengthened by ...er... the other marriages.
Q. Dude, if you're this disgusting, how come women still flock to you and your wives don't leave you either?
A. Who understands women? If you figure them out, I'll take a lesson from you
Q. Ok what's this stupid app about?
A. I'm glad you asked. Throughout my life, I've been a victim of gold-digging women who sleep with me and think I'm a soft target. Not anymore! You'll have to sign the customised pre-extra-nup agreement that the app throws up on my phone, before I agree to sleep with you.
Q. Can you instead just stop trying to sleep with every woman you encounter at the workplace?
A. I'm not violating any company policy as far as I'm aware.
Q. That's because it's your company...
A. Yes, that's right
Q. ...and your company policy explicitly states that all the women in the office have to sleep with you at some point, and inform their superior immediately after. And the superior has to sleep with you in turn, if it's a woman. And so on.
A. Not before they sign on the iFidel, no sir!
Q. So what will they be signing?
A. That the act is 100% consensual and they will send 6 invites each on my behalf, to other women in the office to indulge in similar consensual acts with me. That's the viral digital marketing clause - it's the next big thing. And thirdly, they can't sue me ever.
Q. That doesn't sound legally valid.
A. Oh yeah? I already have 5 signatures. And one download by some @tigerwoodz
Q. Good for you. Do you ever regret these 27 extramarital relationships you've had?
A. That's a toughie. Yeah, some of them weren't as good as they looked, if you know what I mean.
Q. Sir, at a time when the nation's looking desperately for role models, it's also important to show the people what not to become and who better than you to not emulate. We thank you for that.
In the post launch press meet, Phunny was at his combative best. Transcript below.
Q. What's the status of the 5 pending lawsuits against you?
A. Can we stick to questions about iFidel please?
Q. No.
A. I can't comment obviously. But I'll say this - I'm in independent relationships with 4 women at the moment, 2 of which are marriages, I think. I have to check with my lawyer. This is in addition to my long standing marriage which has only been strengthened by ...er... the other marriages.
Q. Dude, if you're this disgusting, how come women still flock to you and your wives don't leave you either?
A. Who understands women? If you figure them out, I'll take a lesson from you
Q. Ok what's this stupid app about?
A. I'm glad you asked. Throughout my life, I've been a victim of gold-digging women who sleep with me and think I'm a soft target. Not anymore! You'll have to sign the customised pre-extra-nup agreement that the app throws up on my phone, before I agree to sleep with you.
Q. Can you instead just stop trying to sleep with every woman you encounter at the workplace?
A. I'm not violating any company policy as far as I'm aware.
Q. That's because it's your company...
A. Yes, that's right
Q. ...and your company policy explicitly states that all the women in the office have to sleep with you at some point, and inform their superior immediately after. And the superior has to sleep with you in turn, if it's a woman. And so on.
A. Not before they sign on the iFidel, no sir!
Q. So what will they be signing?
A. That the act is 100% consensual and they will send 6 invites each on my behalf, to other women in the office to indulge in similar consensual acts with me. That's the viral digital marketing clause - it's the next big thing. And thirdly, they can't sue me ever.
Q. That doesn't sound legally valid.
A. Oh yeah? I already have 5 signatures. And one download by some @tigerwoodz
Q. Good for you. Do you ever regret these 27 extramarital relationships you've had?
A. That's a toughie. Yeah, some of them weren't as good as they looked, if you know what I mean.
Q. Sir, at a time when the nation's looking desperately for role models, it's also important to show the people what not to become and who better than you to not emulate. We thank you for that.
No comments:
Post a Comment