Sunday, February 3, 2008

Follow-up

"Hello. Is this XYZ? I have a note to be sent across to you"
"Email me. My mail id is..."
"I have your email address. I thought I'd just call and let you know so that you can, you know, expect a note from me..."
My outlook express and I now eagerly anticipate the receipt of the said note.
"Ok, cool."
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"Hello. Hi. I just called to say I have sent the email, you should be receiving it shortly. Would you go through it when you receive it?"
Not really. I usually translate it to Chinese, print it out and then shred it.
"Ok"
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Email arrives with pop-up at bottom right corner of laptop screen.

"Hello. Hi. I got a 'read' receipt from your account. So you must have opened the email. I just called to reconfirm"
These read receipts are rarely wrong.

"Yes, I have received it"
"Oh Ok Cool. You can go through it and let me know if you have any queries"
My first query would be about your parentagal legitimacy.

Email #2 arrives.

"As per telecon, please go through previous email and let me know if you have any queries
Regards"

Do NOT call to check about Email#2 or I'll call the police.
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"Hello. I called to check if you had the time to go through the note I sent you yesterday"
I had the time but I did not go through the note you sent yesterday.
"No"
"Oh Ok. let me know when you do"
Would you like an email or a phone call or, let me guess, BOTH?
"Ok"
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SMS at 10 pm. "cd u go thru the eml i snt u. gd day."
Mobile number busted. Hell beckons.

Email #3 : "Any luck with the note yet? Regards "
I need a gun.

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"Hi. It's been three days since I sent you that email"
You don't say. Feels like three and a half.
"Yes. I'm on it"
"Shall I call back in half an hour or one hour?"
Gun
"I'll call you as soon as I read it"
"Ok"
He's going to call in half an hour.

SMS : Dnt want 2 trbl u. ne luck wth my eml?
That does it.
Inbox -> delete email without reading.

"I read it and I'm not interested at present"
"Oh. Ok. Thanks for your time"
Not really. It just took 3 seconds.
"No problem"
"Can you reply to that email saying this? It's for our records"
Uh Oh. Why do I keep emptying the 'deleted items' folder?
"There is some problem with the server. I seem to have lost the message"
"No problem. I'll re-send it"
"Yes"
Noooooo. Too late.

"Hello. Hi. I called to say I'm re-sending the message. You should be getting it any minute now"
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2 comments:

Dreamer said...

Loved it!!

I need to know - which real life incidence inspired this piece:)

RS said...

LOL! Esp considering how "organized and prompt" you are, I can imagine how traumatized you must be with all this unnecessary time-waste :p