Overlead

Overleader(O) : Guys, let's all work together and do this task in a fast and effective manner
Team-members (T) : As opposed to...er...go on.
O : Let's look at what the task is before jumping into action, alright? We've been asked to come up with a tagline for a brand of soap
T : So let's each come up with one option and vote on the best one.
O : I'm afraid that's not the correct approach at all. Let's all discuss in an open manner first.
T : Ok, you suck.
O : I meant about the task. What is the soap trying to convey? Come on, people. We can do this if we work together. What is the soap's message? One by one, who's with me? Who wants to go first?
T : How about 'kills germs' as a tagline? That worked on me when I bought one last week. 'No more stains'? Yes, that sounds better.
O : Let's split up into teams of 2 so that one person can ideate and the other can be a sounding board. Let's take 10 minutes to come up with some options. I will moderate the one-on-ones so that they are productive. Questions? Questions? All on board?
T : 'Smells like' something? Flowers? Sunshine sounds nice. Smells like sunshine
O : Creativity also follows a process. Let's ensure we aren't missing anything. Calm down, people. Let's do this. Who is our audience? It's important to...
T : Are we all agreed on 'smells like sunshine'? Yes?
O : Let's revisit this while we still have time...
Facilitator : (Trriiiing) Time's up
O : Our team has come up with a tagline
F : What are your learnings?
O : We took time to get aligned to the task at hand. But the articulation of the vision made course correction possible. On the personal front, I realised how hard it is to wear two hats, to be a creative contributor as well as the leader of the group. But I guess that comes with the territory. A leader has to...
T : When's the tea break?

He shunned a 3 figure salary to become a slacker

From barely passing out of IIM-Kolhapur to achieving his dream of not doing anything for long periods of time, Virat Rai shares his memorable journey from which many a lesson can be learnt by overeager youngsters.
Interviewer (I): So Virat, where did you go from IIM? Let's start there.
Virat (V): Well, I had a job offer with a prestigious MNC, which I decided to take up on an experimental basis. I don't remember clearly but...
I : Why? How long ago was it?
V : Yesterday morning. It was my first day at work. We had a boring orientation. Then we were given laptops and I did some blog-surfing on mine. I realised one fine day...
I : You mean on the same day? Yesterday?
V : Yes...that my heart was never in it.
I : 'It' meaning browsing the net on a new laptop?
V : Yes. I think at some level, the corporate culture suffocated my creativity. My childhood passion still raged and gave me sleepless nights.
I : 'Night', you mean. Last night, you didn't sleep.
V : Yes...I had always dreamt of slacking off for a bit. It had always been at the back of my mind.
I : Slacking off? And then doing what?
V : Nothing. That's it. Just you know, chilling and loafing. Whatever you want to call it. Some TV now and then, channel surfing.
I : Ok
V : I think the choice was clear. Continue in a dead-end job which didn't grip me at all or just take the plunge. And I just knew. In a moment of clarity, I found strength from deep within. I called the HR Manager and told her, 'I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore'. That was it. Done.
I : What was her reaction?
V : The HR lady? She said she didn't know who I was and then after a while said I was anyway on probation so return the laptop and be on my way. I walked out, feeling a lot lighter in my head and heart.
I : Is it true that you had a 3 figure salary which you gave up? To chase your dream?
V : Yes (smiles). I can tell you it wasn't easy. I was making close to 3 figures on a monthly basis.
I : But you worked for one day so that would be 30 rupees types max.
V : Yes, to give up that kind of financial security and not turn back. It was tempting to go back but I thought of my parents and my teachers.
I : How did that help?
V : It didn't. I'm on the run now so I can't afford to be spotted by my parents or teachers. But you know, if I think back about it now, to be fair, it wasn't like I didn't learn anything from the company. I observed closely their canteen operations.
I : And?
V : Nothing. I asked specifically if the vada was fresh and they still gave me the morning wala vadas.
I : Anything you'd like to share with our young readers?
V : Just go for it. To fulfill a dream, you should first have a dream, so sleep. Then chase it with passion. One day, the dream will happen in reality and you'll feel a bit weird and say 'Hey! This is like some deja vu' and not quite know what's going on.
I : Thank you.
V : and you may fail in the beginning but remember to keep learning. Courage will be your friend in the journey towards success, like Einstein said.
I : I'm sure.
V : Step out of your comfort zone like I did. It may be difficult but I can tell you, in the long run, things will get even worse.
I : Let me conclude by saying many won't do what you've done and for good reason. Thanks a lot, bye.

KK Nagar scrapped - Jeya calls for enquiry

In yet another sweeping move targeting programmes named after, or initiated by, the DMuK administration, ADMuK supremo and Chief Minister Jeyalelitha scrapped KK Nagar (Kalainyar Karnanidhi Nagar) from Chennai.
This is the fourth such announcement this month from the ruling party. In prior moves, the Gemini flyover (constructed in the 70s by DMuK)  has now been converted into an arc shaped, slightly dangerous, public school; the Anna Centenary library becomes a children's hospital; Karnanidhi's second house is slated to become a parking lot for Jeya's drivers' cars.
Justifying the scrapping, Jeya said 'We already have so many Nagars, Ashoknagar, Annanagar and so on. This KK Nagar is another example of a wasteful investment by DMuK from public funds. I would like an enquiry conducted immediately on the creation of KK Nagar."
"I have no hesitation in scrapping this locality. Buses and vehicles will, starting today, not be allowed to stop in this locality as it does not exist. We are also re-doing all Chennai maps accordingly. Our ambitious plan will need a central grant of 1 lakh crore to operationalise, most of it towards unrelated bribes to my party personnel and some whiteners", she added
When asked about the people who live there, she said vaguely 'We are taking steps to allay the fears of people who live there. They will also cease to be real people but this will be done in a seamless manner'

IIT, IIM, coffee, love, one girl and bad language - An IITian's journey through life covering these aspects in more detail than the other stuff

Preface
This is my first novel. When I joined IIT and IIM, little did I know that my experiences there would someday be read by other people in the form of a novel. It all started when I was caught doodling at my office desk with a blade. I'd scratched out some obscene statements with supporting illustrations. One of my colleagues, known for his sarcastic tongue, said 'You should totally do this for a living'. Well, here I am doing exactly that.
Let me start by addressing the question that must have occurred to you by now. Why should you buy this book? It looks crappy and it's probably a lurid account of a failed college affair which led to pornographic pursuits, flunking exams and so on. But what you are missing out on, is the fact that you may be a moron who thinks reading graphic details of how I was ragged in college will help you better your chances of gaining admission into these prestigious Institutions.
Also, notice how some people just laugh at foul language and obscene imagery, for no reason at all? You claim to not be one of them? Ha! F@#$ You. (Did you laugh?) Ch####ya (laugh yet?). Saala B******d (C'mon laugh already)
Well, let me tell you, this book is a treat for that kind of audience. It's got so much of the 'good' stuff that if it were made into a movie, the dialogue would be one long 'beep'.
At the heart of this book is a tender love story. At some corner deep in our heart, tucked away in a corner, of our deep hearts, there will be a chhota sa cute romance story from college. You may deny it but you can't refute it. That first love, that girl (or boy if you are a girl reader), the tentative approaches, will always remain etched in eternity. I hope while reading this book, you reignite that stuff even if it is only for 5 minutes-10minutes. If you went to an all-boys college then I guess we'll have to revert back to how this book can help you get admission into the prestigious IIT-IIMs. Without further ado, my story begins in a faraway place called Kanpur. The year was 2006. Her name was Priya. Fair, lean, black-eyed Priya. Aaaaaaaah. The feeling. It was bliss. Like morning coffee in a cold place. Like sunrise after a sandstorm...

Poor quality of Chetain Bagat an issue : Narayanmurthy

Ex-chairman of Infoshys Narayanmurthy slammed noted tweeter Chetain Bagat's overall quality as an individual today at the Pan-ITI meet in Chennai. 'There is a definite deteriorating trend that I see. He was tolerable a few years back, both as a writer and as an individual. Not the case now' he said, 'We are faced with a grave situation where I don't like whatshisname Bagat's face but he keeps appearing on TV news channels and writing columns and books and tweeting. We have to take firm and concrete steps in a forwardly direction on this matter.'
Chetain Bagat retorted angrily with a tweet that said 'It's ironic that Murty's taking on an author of my stature given that he himself has written several books'

The May-you-help-me section

"I need to be able to access the cash in this account. So can you help me do that?"
"Yes, sir, of course. Have a seat"
"As far as I understand, I need to make this a joint account or activate internet banking and do a funds transfer"
"Sir, this account is with the Indiranagar branch."
"Yeah, but the customer service guy on the phone said I could do this at the nearest branch"
"Yes, of course, sir. Let me key in the details. Hmm. Sir, this is not a joint account"
"Yes, I want to make it a joint account"
"Ok. I think the best solution is for you to open a new joint account with this branch"
Oh, I see what she's doing. Wasn't it Polya who said 'solve a completely unrelated problem'?
"But I have an account already"
"Then you close that account"
"So you can't make that account a joint account?"
"No, sir, don't do that, sir. You shouldn't"
Her earnestness would have been more appropriate if she were telling me not to drink too much.
"Why not?"
"Because in the case of dividend transactions and taxation and (some other courses I was taught in my banker exam coaching classes) blah blah and hence it will be much better for you to open a new joint account here"
I don't push her but I'm pretty sure I can get her to confess that she had a monthly target to meet in new joint accounts.
"Then help me activate internet banking"
"Sir, surely sir. Can you fill out this form please? I need passport size photo and PAN card"
I go out and get them. And then go back again and get PAN card - original.
"So this is it? Are you sure? I'll get a password by post and I can transact online?"
Who am I kidding? I guess a little optimism creeps into all of us every now and then.
www.lowquality banking. com -> login -> enter your password -> change your password -> a one time password has been sent to your mobile.
Drat! That mobile's no longer functional. Back to the branch to change registered mobile phone number.
Cut to three days later. I happily enter the one time password and enter the world of internet banking. I don't marvel at this for too long though. 'To transfer funds, you need to download and fill 'third party transaction form' and submit at the nearest branch along with your horoscope, ration card, favourite books and hobbies.'
Maybe if I give in and open a new account for now, the lady at the branch will get around to solving my problem too eventually.

Jan Lokepal

The parliamentary standing committee on law and justice invited memoranda on email to kpsing@sansadnic.in on August 20, 2011 on the Lokepal Bill pending before it since August 4, 2011, from any individuals or organisations interested in the subject matter. Based on the feedback collected, the committee has decided to add the following memoranda into the Bill as special clauses. Having incorporated public opinion thus, the Lokepal Bill (original) together with the following clauses shall form the Jan Lokepal Bill. (Presently, the committee invites help in understanding #6 in the list below from individuals who can read sms lingo)
1. lolz:)
2. who's this kpsing@sansadnic.in, we want anna. WE ARE WITH ANNA. PuNISH CoRuption. kpsing must be raja and kalmadi's email address that's why it doesn't have their names to protect their privacy. anna tum jiyo hazaaron saal, hum tumhaare saath hain
3. ilayaraja is much better than rehman, you rehman fans must be tone deaf!!! or just deaf!!1
4. rajnikanth once heard a joke and the poor joke had to laugh...lololol
5. think what has 60 yrs of independence given us. a poor man still has to fight for 1 rupee water packet. will we all be quiet if this happened to our own mothers pardon my warm regards
6. wat is govt if not ppl by ppl for ppl. ths not ana campn not fit go bk to own cntry
7. This comment was removed by the committee moderator for foul language. But it will figure in the Bill confidentially.
8. I ask simple question of fellow Indians. if there is law already why is not bein followed. how many politicians are in jail tell me.
9. Anna is not India and India is not Anna. I'm not Anna nor Anna I. Who am I (5 across)
10. Ths so called God of crkt has ever saved a match on his own? memory doesn't cm to mind. in my humble dravd is true and only dada is also on offside only...

Tech product review

Disclaimer : This post has turned out to be a lot more technical than I intended. So if you are not a tech-geek you'll find it pretty dense and incomprehensible.

Google plus has certainly captured the imagination of, well, those who signed up for it in the last few weeks since its launch. It already has 500 trillion users and this number is growing. The saving grace is that it hasn't created any new 25 year old billionaires. Its potential is unmistakable but is it the product that it can be, yet? Let's take a critical look at this product by comparing it to what, in some ways, is its only competitor, my old ipod-shuffle.
1. G+ has friends but Ipod has songs : My shuffle can hold about a hundred songs of all types, English, Hindi, regional languages - you name it (and then download it) and the ipod has it. G+ on the other hand, holds a virtual network of friends and family. You do the math.
2. You can shuffle songs but not friends : Even the most skeptical of song listeners will agree that sometimes you just need to shuffle songs, which my ipod does pretty easily. It can be argued that you can't shuffle friends because it might annoy them but that's just a sore-loser argument in my view. Surely family members and some other 2-3 circles should not mind being shuffled around?
3. Ipod usually comes with earphones : Well, this is self-explanatory. It is rumored that G+ is only in beta phase and when the launch happens, you can download some earphones but then what will you be listening to? Friends' status updates?
4. Privacy : Strictly this is a techno-legal issue and beyond the scope of this article but let me try to simplify it for a lay audience. This is the same malaise that facebook suffered from and can't be ignored. G+ has an option to block some friends (why add them in the first place, moron?) but surprisingly enough, ipod comes a cropper on this one. You can't block a song, but only manage through skipping or deleting.
5. User interface complexity : G+ is a frikking full page on my laptop with so many boxes and text. Ipod has only one circle with 4 arrows. I like. And not facebook-like.
6. Inter-usability between these two : G+ clearly scores on this one too. If I'm listening to a particular song ABC, I can update my status on G+ as "Listening to song ABC" but the reverse integration has just not worked out for Apple. A friend updates his/her status on G+ - absolutely no change in ipod music. And I checked the battery and earphones. Go figure!
7. The physical touch-feel aspect : This one's pretty obvious. You can give your ipod to a friend including the earphones if you don't have any infection or anything. But this is not possible with G+. You can maybe printout your home page and give it to the same friend but I think we can agree it's not the same thing as giving away an ipod.
8. Migration : You were on orkut just a few years back and then you got really lonely there. Sound familiar? Now your facebook friends are vacating for no particular reason. In contrast, when the ipod nano was launched, none of the songs moved out of my ipod, not one.
There's more of course, but these are the top-of-mind issues that developers at both companies are grappling with. Switching costs are high and the product really has to deliver on a unique feature or die a quick death. Will this be another all-out war like facebook versus the desktop computer from the previous decade? Watch this space.

Ragul Gandhi cannot legally drink in Maharashtra - Subra Swami

Irked by Digveejay Singh's remark that Ragul finally looks old enough to drink, Janta Party President Subra Swami issued a sensational statement here dubbing Singh a Janpath mouthpiece and criticising his statement as one that had no legal or logical basis.
'He still roams around on an Italian passport' said Swami, 'Obviously he has to pay export duties before buying a drink. Also the legal drinking age in Maharashtra is now 25 which means Ragul will find it very tough to buy a drink, given his boyish looks.' When queried about actor Imraan Khan's PIL against the drinking age bar in Maharashtra, Swami said 'There is also a legal minimum age for filing a PIL so we can safely ignore him' with a chuckle.

Interesting conversation - must-read

There was this atheist professor who decided to prove to his class that God did not exist.
"Can you see God?"
"No"
"See? Proved!"
The class was in stunned silence for over 35-40 minutes before a curly haired short student stood up in the last bench and said, in a confident but not complacent tone,
"Sir, may I go to the bathroom?"
"Yes"
Wait, another hand went up in the second-last bench and a smart looking fellow stood up.
"Sir, can I ask you a return question?"
"No, shhhh, please do some quiet reading,shhhh"
But the young man refused to give up.
"Sir, have you seen heat?"
"hain what?"
"Heat, h.e.a.t, heat"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Have you seen light?"
"Yes, shhhh now, let me focus on correcting these answer papers, please sit down"
"Can you prove that light exists?"
"That's it. Get out of my class room. Now"
"How do you know God does not exist, when you can't prove any simple damn thing?"
"Bring your parents to meet the principal tomorrow"
The first dude who wanted to go to the bathroom was none other than someone from Switzerland like Albert Einstein and the second guy who got thrown out was a distant relative of our very own former president Dr. ABJ Qalaam. The professor was, yes, by now you must have guessed it, Bill Clintain, whose name sounded like a former American President. The principal had a portrait in his room of none other than Europe's very own Isaac Newton. Please forward this interesting episode to all so we can all feel proud about India, physics, religion etc.

Trance

DJ : Hey ye all, what's up dogs?
Crowd (C) : yea yea yea
DJ : Let's get this mfkin show on the road
C : yea yea
DJ : You guys like your music eh? What do you want me to play?
C : yea yea yea
DJ : I ain't gonna play no fkin' popular music. and that means no (first name1)-fkin-(second name1) and no (first name2)-fkin-(second name2)
C : yea yea yea
DJ : ye know what? I ain't gonna play anything!
C : yea yea
DJ : Let me instead read out some dialogues I wrote m'self.
'you ain't gonna no fk with me mofos, i ain't no saint blah blah etc'
C : yea yea
DJ : Also, let's get some beats goin' eh. (beats)
(repeat beats in infinite loop)
two hours later
C : yea yea
three hours later
C : yea yea
four hours later. The alcohol's drying up and the crowd's sobering up.
C (thinking aloud) :
1.If this place has a dress code, why is the DJ in a banian?
2.How many distinct songs did we just hear? I can recall only two.
3.I was carrying 10k when I came in. Now I need to borrow 5 rupees for bus ticket to go home.

Empowerment

This is an email trail. So read from down up.

From : D4 (Office boy)
To : L
CC : D1, D2, D3
D3 saab ne bola kuch kaam hai aur aapse milne ka hai urgent. apun train me aa raha hai. kuch chai nashta leke aaoon kya?

From : D3 (Executive)
To : L
CC : D1, D2, D4
sir I is busy on call sir. sending my guy to meet yourgoodself and help with on your project as soon as asap.

From : D2 (General Manager)
To : L
CC : D1, D3
I spoke with D1 and it would be great to work with you on this. Requesting D3 to contact you immediately to take this forward. Do let me know in case you need anything.

From : D1(CEO)
To : L
CC : D2
Sure. Through this mail, I request D2 to contact you directly and take this forward.
D2 - Please speak urgently

From : L
To : D1
Sir, Can your firm help me with project xyz please?

World cup reveller amongst Hazaare supporters detained

A semi-drunk 30 year old reveller Akash Sharma was detained by the local Delhi police for pretending to be a supporter of the Ana Hazaare anti-corruption campaign. Other rallyists reported him for shouting 'Dhoooooni Dhoni' out of context in the candlelight march. Akash was blank when asked about Ana Hazaare but made a brave attempt to yell his way out of the situation through general slogans such as "Bad things, down down!" and telling the policeman, "We have seen so much bad stuff and are very angry. I will not rest till whateva these guys are crying about is put a stop to or started or whateva they want done. I'm with you, comrades. They can't ignore us anymore (hic)". Akash allegedly took 5 chances to get to the 'cause' correctly, after cancer, terrorism, Ganpathi and Independence Day, and said "I don't know, who's he?" when asked about the Lokpal bill, which prompted the immediate arrest.

pls read v.v. important dn't delete...

got this as a fwd and i swear this works...

this is v.v.very rare photo...look at photo and say small very simple prayer wishing for one thing...anything you want very badly...say prayer 12 times and repeat twice i.e. total of 19 times...

dear god, please shower me with happiness and joy
dear god, please shower me with happiness and etc etc...

now fwd this to 17 ppl within the next 43 minutes one by one and something mega will happen on april 2nd, 2011...if you delete or ignore it or even think about deleting it, i'll personally come after you, be careful...no you don't...i mean it...

Sachein, Bradmann surprise inclusions in MS Doni's Dream XI

"Captain Cool" MS Doni definitely had a point to prove on Friday on ESPN when, as part of a special feature, he was asked to select a Dream World XI to lead, from cricketers past and present. Obviously stinging from criticism that he was irrational and biased in the selection of the Indian team, Doni went on to pick his all-time favourites. The first name that came to his mind was, as expected, Raveendra Jadeija. "I think his fielding gives him a slight edge over, say, a Garry Sobers." Doni said. The next pick was the difficult one - the bowling all-rounder. "I think I'm going to go with Jogeender Sharma over Kapil Deiv, because, you know, Jogs can bat a bit". No surprises there. "I need an attacking leg spinner next. I think Pijush Chawla bowls a great googly and just edges out Shaine Warney." The shockers came in later when he picked Tendulkaar, Bradmann, Marrshall who all have proven match winning track records, out of the blue. Not always predictable, that's Doni for you.

Conversation spirals

11.00 AM
A : If you have a written manual, please send it to me. It would be useful.
B : I don't have it with me but a couple of people in my team might have it. I'll ask them.

This meeting could have ended here, in exactly 10 seconds. But A has taken a cab all the way to B's office for a face-to-face meeting. This ten-seconder could have even happened on the phone. Also, A is being paid a salary which is something that always guilts people into doing unnecessary and unproductive work. Like continuing this conversation with B.

A (decides to explain context) : So our firm is in a situation where we ...blah blah (2 minutes)...so it would really help us if we had a manual.
B (also warming up): As I said I don't have it with me right now. But I think a couple of people might have it in my team because I remember we were in a similar situation last year and ...blah blah...(2 minutes). So I'll ask them and if they have it, I will send you a copy.

5 minutes. Still not paisa vasool for the cab ride

A (trying a new tack as if that would make a manual magically appear) : It need not be a "manual" manual. Any document that outlines the process would suffice. Just a simple check-list, you know. Because, what are we trying to do here, after all...blah blah (5 minutes)
B (has had enough) : Hmm. Yes, I get that. I'll look for any document that might be useful in this context, alright?
A (fearing the meeting might end soon, raises important sounding but irrelevant issues) : If there's a problem with confidentiality, don't worry, we will sign a non-disclosure. It's purely for internal...
B: No no. That's not the problem
A: If we need to pay a token amount, you know or give you due credit for using your intellectual property, let me know
B: No, no. Haha. That won't be necessary.
A: It's important to clear these issues upfront. In my experience, if you do these things upfront in a very clear way, there's no problem later, you see?
B : Yes, absolutely. You are right. Ok, so let me ask my team if they have something for you
A : Yes, please do. I'll be grateful.
B : And I have your email id, so I'll forward you a copy.
A : Yes, you can check with your team and if they have a manual or any document that, you know, has an outline of the process, you can send it to me.
B : Yes, it need not be a manual strictly. I got that.
A : Yes, just a simple doc with a check list will also do. Of course, if it's a manual, then all the better. But I'm just saying it's not strictly necessary. Because, what's the purpose of it after all? blah blah...(5 minutes). So it's important that the purpose is served.
B : Yes, true. So I'll look for it and let you know.
A : Yes, please do. Thanks a lot for your time. Do let me know, once you've checked with your team, if you find something that we can use. And then you can forward it to me.
B : Yes. I'll do that. Ok, thanks for dropping by. I'll be in touch.
A : By when can I expect a call or email?
B (a little irritated now): Very soon. Like I said, I just have to check with a couple of people. If they have it, then I can just forward it to you very quickly. If they don't then, well...they don't
A : Yes, I understand. Ok, fine. So you check and let me know as soon as possible, if your colleagues have something I can use. You can email me a copy.
B : Yes, will do.
A : Thanks, I really appreciate it. Like I said, we just need it for this new thing we are starting...blah...

And some more spirals later...

11.30 AM
A (almost convinced now that his trip was worth it and feeling a warm glow about a solid meeting, but also wanting to show his superior critical thinking powers one last time) : Also remember to let me know if your policies come in the way, in terms of IPR and confidentiality and all that, alright?
B : Yes, that's not a problem.
A : It's important to be sure, right upfront, in my experience.
B(gets up to force the meeting to a close) : Yes, absolutely. Ok, Mr. A, nice to have met you. I'll be in touch once I talk to my team.
A(gets up) : Thanks for your time. See you. Let me know if you find anything. You could just email it to me.
-----
11.40 AM
After A's exit,
B : Hey C, did we document that process XYZ somewhere? Is there a manual sort of thing?
C : No
B : Ok
11.41 AM
on email : "Dear A, I checked with my team and we don't seem to have any document that might be of help to you. Sorry! - B"

SC disallows 'active euthanasia' of India's most irritating criminals

In response to a petition filed by an undisclosed social activist, the Supreme Court today ruled that active 'euthanasia' of some of India's worst people cannot be allowed because 'we aren't that sort of country'. The activist's plea was that he be allowed to kill some people who 'riled him up to no end' and didn't deserve to live. He said only rapists, scamsters and terrorists seemed to be in the news, smiling at the cameras and enjoying all the attention and needed to be taught a lesson. In order to not put undue pressure on India's medical services, he said the SC could have some qualifying criteria such as 'scams above 10000 cr only' so that the small timers could be weeded out. His argument that these people were "mentally sick" and needed to be released did not find favour with the judges. "The best I can do is this, if you can convince these messed up folk to somehow commit suicide, I will turn a blind eye' the judge said.

Boundaries of Louv

shehar se lekar gaon tak, dhoop se lekar chaon tak
(from city to village, from sun to shade)
sar se lekar paon tak, dil ki sabhi wafaon tak
(head to toe, till the heart's loyalties*)
mujhe pyar karo...oh mujhe pyar karo
(louv me, oh louv me)

paas se lekar door tak, door se lekar paas tak
(from near to far, from far to near)
in hoton ke pyaas tak, dharti se akaash tak
(till the thirst of the lips, from earth to sky*)
mujhe pyar karo oh mujhe pyar karo

saagar ke is aar se, saagar ke us paar tak
(from this side of the ocean, to that side of the ocean)
nazron ki deewar tak, pyar se lekar pyar tak
(till the eyes' walls, from louv to louv*)
mujhe pyar karo oh mujhe pyar karo

subah se lekar shaam tak, shaam se lekar raat tak
(roughly 18 hours)
raat se lekar subah tak, subah se phir shaam tak
(another 18)
mujhe pyar karo oh mujhe pyar karo...
(i.e. louv me for 36 hours. Off you go, tomorrow at 6 pm)


* don't ask me

'K..k..khan's speech' India's entry to the Oscars

The Hindi remake of the multiple academy-award winning King's Speech starring 'King' Khan himself, has been selected as India's official entry to the Oscars for the year 2011. 'K..k..khan's speech' was released amid much fanfare last Diwali and bombed at the box office, which only increased its chances of being selected for the Oscars. The adaptation, starring Sahrukh Khan as a struggling actor who overcompensates for his poor diction with overdone expressions, and former cricketer Najvot Siddu as his voice coach, won several NRI hearts all over England. To make the adaptation 'real' and spontaneous, it is rumored that Siddu wrote his own lines which are in turn, old proverbs with the nouns mixed up with animal and bird names. "Bad films don't always win oscars. Crows don't always pee into the wind' he said, prophetically, when pressed for a reaction.

Applying the timeless principles of achieving excellence at work to achieve excellence at work

Foreword
This book is a must-read. The third book in the 'applying stuff' trilogy, after 'Applying the art of war in non-war items' and 'Applying Buddhist principles at work without psyching out the others', this book takes a bold step forward from where the author left off in Book-two. Every young manager should buy a copy. Right now. I'm not kidding.
Excellence at work has always been an archaic body of knowledge, not accessible to the casual reader. The author not only distills the main principles from this body of esoteric knowledge but also teaches us, in a funny and definitely readable way, through illustrated stories, how to use those principles at our workplace to achieve excellence.
For instance, Rule #1 : Do work. Deceptively straightforward, but once you finish this section, well, move on to the next. Rule #2 : Don't beat up people. Elucidated through simple but delightful horror stories of corporate crime, this section is a definite page-stopper. Rule #3 : Take a break but let that not be the only thing you do. This self-explanatory portion still runs into several pages. There are more principles that follow, covering all aspects of work and I'm very excited about getting to those sections later this week! Happy reading!

The road less travelled by, there's a good reason why

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

And so I thought I'd be a star
Till I saw some jerks on a truck
They'd taken the easier route by far
and made it to the same place on solid tar
And left me feeling like a stupidass schmuck

I was like 'Hey! this breaks my heart;
but the road less travelled can't suck in art
its suckiness in real life regardless
let's inspire people to make a mess'
And I decided to delete the last part

Case

Ramaswami looked at the crumpled piece of paper in front of him and sighed. He got up from his ergonomic chair and walked to the french window of the plush Director's cabin and looked out. Then he came back and sat on his chair and looked at the paper in front of him and sighed. He had come a long way from joining Indian Management Institute as a Deputy Director the previous year to becoming Director this year. It had been a troubled journey.

When he took over the top job at the Institute earlier this year, his predecessor had handed him this piece of paper. The paper was cryptically titled 'Exhibit 1' and had the following table.

Exhibit 1
Harvard : Case methodology
Stanford : Don't know
IMI : Should be same as Harvard?

He remembered spending many days trying to make sense of this table and giving up. He then had nothing to do for a few months and decided to hire a consultant and entrusted the task of generating 'Exhibit 2' to them. The consultants decided to 'listen to the market' and came up with some pithy findings summarised as 'Exhibit 2', just like Ramaswami wanted.

Exhibit 2
Number of student respondents surveyed : 200
Preferred pedagogy
Case study method : 0
Orthodox (lecture) : 0
Replacement of faculty with better faculty : 100
Refund of fees : 100

This was a disturbing trend indeed and to recover from this shock, Ramaswami decided to download some data from the internet which he playfully compiled as Exhibit 3.

Exhibit 3
Food production in Zambia last Thursday: 200 metric tonnes
Ratio of China's GDP and Distance from the earth to the moon : 20

As he was staring into open space, some realistic questions occurred to Ramaswami.
Should I continue as Director? (5 marks)
Should this Institute continue with the case-study method? (15 marks)
How many exhibits on an average should a case have? (5 marks)

He was clueless but he was sure of one thing, the answers to these would occur to him by 4 pm the next day.